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Disgraced Greek triple-jumper Voula Papachristou ponders her next racist Tweet.
I’ve never watched The Olympics and don’t really know that much about it.
I know it’s all about excellence in athletics and a competition involving people from other countries and cultures.
But what honor is there in "winning" something by trouncing a malnourished native type from some Third World country like Canada?
I like sports as much as the next guy, but mainly I just follow Turkish Oil Wrestling. Is it possible to be too masculine? Not for me.
Oil, leather, musk, and Thou.
The Olympics happen every couple years it seems and it’s always a challenge determining which TV channel is going to carry it and go off your channel-surfing radar for the week. Maybe if there was an event given to indolence and sloth more of us would tune in.
It’s ironic that a gala celebrating athleticism encourages millions to become inert and sedentary in front of their flatscreens, their only exercise getting up to greet the Domino’s delivery guy.
The Olympics are held in a different country each time and this time it’s in England where the only "sport" they play so far as I know is soccer.
Tee hee! Word on the street is Paul McCartney, formerly of 60′s rock band The Beatles, performed at the opening ceremony and sang that Hey Jude. That had to have been one long-ass opening ceremony if he went with that whole "Naaaaaa naa naa na na na naaaaaaa" bit at the end that goes on forever.
God help us.
Talk about a song where the beginning and ending are too far apart. If you can’t think of any more lyrics for your song, just end it. Or give Ringo a drum solo.
The Israeli team was overheard grudgingly singing along: "Na na na naaaa! Oy vey! Na na na naaaa! I am plotzing here! Na na na naaaa! Enough with the na na na’s already!"
Take a sad song and make it longer.
All I can say is I hope we win. It’s time to show some famine- and pestilence-ravaged pygmies from some African "nation" du jour who can slam-dunk and who can’t.
Industrialized nations are number one!
We didn’t exactly get off to a rousing start when the stock "Gimme a U! Gimme a S! Gimme a A!" cheer was met with awkward silence following the rhetorical "What’s that spell?"
Spelling was never athletes’ strong suit. "Car?" "Catcher’s mitt?" "No! Tree, right?"
Don’t you worry your pretty little heads about it.
I’ll probably be watching reruns of The Golden Girls but nevertheless: Go, Team USA!
—SHIFT
Voula Papachristou takes a moment to continue being racist.
god i want to rub my face up in there