1. OLD GUYS WITH STYLE Look at this dude. He probably gets more pussy than you and any of your snatch-chasing pals.
1. OLD GUYS WITH STYLE
Look at this dude. He probably gets more pussy than you and any of your snatch-chasing pals. The reason why is simple: Girls love father figures, but also want a guy who’s fashionable. He’s got both down. Combine that with the fact that he’s got about a hundred cool stories about how he spent his youth getting wasted (like you) but has now gotten his shit together (unlike you), and what you’re left with is a Viagra-fueled cock waiting to explode in some 18-year-old vag.
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2. YOUNG SKINNY GUYS
I’m getting old (but not old enough to be in the category above). My metabolism isn’t what it used to be. How do I keep up with people like this? That shirt and those glasses would look stupid on anyone over 150 pounds, and I so wanna wear that shirt and those glasses!
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3. KARLA
Karla has a blog where she takes pictures of herself wearing clothes. That’s it, nothing more to it. It’s not revolutionary, but it is pretty damn sexy. Karla gives me butterflies and she works the shit out of polka dots and zebra prints. I hate her because she makes me realize my girlfriend is ugly and fails at fashion. Sure, Karla looked better before she cut her hair, but the bottom line is Karla is stylish and lovely and perfect, and my girlfriend is stupid. Stupid and ugly!
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4. OVERLY KOOKY GIRLS
Where would we go on a date? What books do you read? Do you even have a TV? Oh, you spend all day sitting in cafes drinking weird types of coffee that I’ve never even heard of while you quote lines from Pink Flamingos. I really wanna fuck you, but I don’t see an opening.
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5. KIDS WHO TRY TOO HARD
None of your friends look like you, so you probably feel like an “outsider,” right? And I’m guessing your parents think that fashion is a cool hobby for little Lina — or “Fabo-lina” as your Tumblr followers know you. Thing is, by the time you’re 18, you’ll have sucked off enough old guys with style to write a book on it. This angers me because it’ll probably be a bestseller and that will make you a more accomplished writer than me. Fuck you.
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6. WACKY CAMP AZN’S
You can only imagine the type of conversations you’d have with this guy. Double entendres about giving handjobs and Master’s classes on how to walk in heels. He probably talks in some annoying high-pitched Azn tone too, like a hyperactive little girl stuck in a little Asian boys body. Cool green fur stole, though.
#4 is a model. No way did that Lithuanian sixteen-year-old put that hair, makeup, and outfit together herself.
#4 would go to a B-52′s concert, sigh and say “I guess it’s been done before.”
#1 does get alot of babes. As a matter of fact, he stole those shoes from one of them.
i love how kids today have no clue about cultures, let alone sub-cultures; history in general. they get the 80s from mtv reenactments, and learn about movies through hipster article links (see above). nobody’s really into anything anymore; they’re into everything, but only for a second, then it’s on to the next already played-out trend.
bottom line: it’s too hard to get beat up, and it’s not doing the kids any favours. they all look the same, fiddle with their cell phones, and are incapable of having an actual interest in anything beyond themselves.
I sincerely hope that Karla-with-a-K gets addicted to benzos and then quits cold turkey and dies of shock. She is not better than anybody’s girlfriend. Love the one you’re with.
And I really like what Cunt Hair said up there^^^
Great, I will now spend the rest of my day on Karlas blog, dreaming of making love to her sweet mouth… with my penis. AAyohhhhh !!!
whoa, karla is stacked
Karla is cute, but she really needs to attempt to stand up straight every once in awhile. Every picture of her is pre-dowager’s hump.
you forgot about the asshole cunts who think its cute to wear native american headresses and “war paint”
really kids? this is all you can come up with? this is the best you can do?
all this technology and information at your fingertips and all you can think of is
“hey, lets dress like indians durt durt durt…”
kids today are fucking stupid and have no clue what theyre all about or what they wanna be about.
sorry but you cant bitch about corporations when you buy cigarettes 3 times a week.
you cant wear a che tshirt when your coke was smuggled inside the stomach of a poor guatemalan girl trying to feed her family.
and you cant dress like a blue collar slob when they all had to move away from your neighborhood because their building got torn down to build your condo.
Man, I am never gonna impregnate Karla. I’m not even gonna come close, and that is depressing.
Correction your EX girlfriend is stupid and ugly.
Karla is a self absorbed twat
Karla has got the kind of legs you can SUCK ON for a day.
http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii72/stylebook18/karlaskloset/kkloset2/kkloset3/powr9-1.jpg I wouldn’t even know what to say to a girl who looks this good. I’d be like “see ya” that’s what I’d say. “got any uglier friends?”
this dude is hilarious
Karla is very short, I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole, and I’m a girl
Karla is very short, I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole, and I’m a girl
Poo- yeah I guess if I was a girl I would hate her too. and find fault where there likely is none
I really love your work Crunky!!!! Biggest fan EVER!!!!
young ladies never fantasize about older men. never. not even 5 years older. unless there’s an accompanying visual of dollar bills floating by.
#2. worst shit i ever seen. and yes girls fantasies about older men indeed
What th—
Karla and that whole ilk are perfectly Puke Puke Puke. Visual represntatives of a tragically warped values system. Straight off the rack, spackle-thick makeup princesses. Utterly Grotesque. I’ll take cutoffs and chucks and a tight t-shirt any day, and I’ll gleefully throw those Sarah Jessica Puker dressy-dresses straight into the sewer… Wot an anti-flattering waste of money. Total Hurl. Yikes. Wow. Do not like. Only the most gay would like.
@Dragler: No, she really is short, check out the legs. And I don’t hate her in the least, I’m way prettier. Why, all of your girlfriends must’ve been really ugly.
Donald, you kinda ignore the fact the no. 6′s are all just gay.
@poo No. Considering how hot this Karla chick is, it is empirically impossible for you to be “way prettier”. That’s like saying you’re way denser than a black hole. Which you may be, I don’t know.
I used to be super skinny and then I started drinking real heavy and smoking weed everyday and now I’m not. Who cares.
@just a cunt hair:
that feeling’s called “being old” you tit.
donald crunk is the best thing on here.
@poo
shorts girlz r hot, fuk off
Wow. Karla is the hottest looking tranny I’ve seen in a while. I’d probably suck her cock if she promised not to tell anyone.
I gotta say, ‘Poo’, even if Karla’s a self-absorbed cunt or whatever, you can’t deny those thighs. Pretty much every man is into petite, incredibly attractive women with legs like that.
The Karla’s better than my girl idea is the kind of crap I get as a man, having been contrasted to the aged fashion fops, skinny fashion fops, even mma meatheads. I always say, go then. Try it out. My self esteem can handle being messed with.
sorry but Karla is a dyke. duh. why the fuck do you think dykes are gonna fuck any guy, never mind a SC faggot
I don’t like tall girls. I’m 5′ 8.5″ and feel like the little king
well, karla definitely has money with the labels she’s wearing. and what the hell does she do for a living that she has the luxury to dress up and wear high heels everyday? i’m a woman who loves to wear high heels but it’s a special occasion when i get to because i have to take a car and keep the walking to a minimum. so, karla must take a lot of taxis or she has feet of steel because heels fucking hurt after a few hours.
i don’t know how long karla has maintained a blog but her and this chick seem separated at birth. all in all – they’re rich(ish) and boring. http://www.theglamourai.com/
i think she has stumpy legs and wears things much too short for her body and would hardly pass as a 6 kitten girl. also whats with the retouching on her blog? oh, and the short hair is really bad – huge felicity-factor
lol girls crack me up.
Karla looks like a real disagreeable cunt. And I don’t mean that in a good way.
dragler – seriously that pic you posted – you wouldn’t know what to say to a girl that pretty??? she looks like a fucking gorrilla… a fashionable gorrilla… but an ape none the less – gross! You must be hideous!
Anyone who has that much time to spend dressing up & taking pictures of themselves just seems vapid & self-induldged to me. Practically anyone COULD do it… but most interesting people actualy have lives.
girls are really good at digging for reasons to hate hot girls, ESPECIALLY girls who consider themselves ‘lookers’. For instance, my friend (half-hot and crazy vain) ‘hates’ rihanna. How do you hate ‘rihanna’? I didn’t even hear about her until her face got smashed in. My friend couldn’t figure out why anyone cared. In summation, girls are crazy.
actually I take it back. That babe up there is too short, and it’s pissing me off.