I met Lester about 4 years ago through my friend Holly. He was her boyfriend at the time. One night we ended up alone at my place while Holly and her friend were crashing in my bed, and we vaguely admitted that we kinda had crushes on each other.
[Photo courtesy of Titty City]
I met Lester about 4 years ago through my friend Holly. He was her boyfriend at the time. One night we ended up alone at my place while Holly and her friend were crashing in my bed, and we vaguely admitted that we kinda had crushes on each other. That’s as far as it went, and we never discussed it again.
He and Harmony broke up and she moved away. I would still see Lester a few times a year, even when we were both single, but still nothing. We have a genuine friendship and we really enjoy each other’s company. Most of the time when we hang out, it’s just me and him alone with a pile of booze, but there’s never any flirting.
Fast forward to now, and we’ve started hanging out more than ever. I think he’s the hottest piece of ass on the Eastern seaboard. Like, I’ve never wanted to bang someone as much as I want to bang this dude right now. I can’t stop thinking about him. I’ve masturbate furiously to the thought of his beard tickling my inner thighs. I don’t want to marry him or even date him, I just want to fuck the shit out of him.
A couple months ago, I started hooking up with his friend Peter. Peter’s alright, but he’s kind of a dork (he says “homeboy” a lot) and he has trouble keeping his boner. The first night that I banged Peter, a bunch of us were out at a bar and I guess Lester could see what was about to happen. He turned to me and said, “You know, I’ve always had a thing for you,” and then he got weird and made out with some other girl all night. WTF is that?! Now Lester and I don’t really ever talk about me and Peter, and I think it’s like the elephant in the room. It is for me, at least.
Peter says that Lester can talk to girls and shit, but he has trouble closing the deal ’cause he’s a bit awkward. I’ve seen some of the girls he goes after and I think I’m equally as hot, if not hotter, than most of them. Oh and also, unless Peter’s a fucking moron, he knows that I’m totally into his friend.
What do I do, Barf?! How do I turn a platonic friend into a fuck-friend? Did I totally ruin my chances by banging his buddy? Am I delusional? Should I just accept the fact that he’s not into me like that?
Help!
-HORNY IN JUNE
Dear Horny,
First of all, who’s Harmony? Just kidding, I know you used a fake name and accidentally forgot to switch it, but P.S. how hard is making up a fake name sometimes?
Anyway, you’re bugging out over nothing. This dude obviously likes you. Next time you “hang out alone with a pile of booze” just tell him that you like him and want to make out with him. It seems like you guys discuss it a lot. I feel like the both of you are being weird and insecure, and hence your hooking up with other people, creating some unnecessary drama.
Stop making out with his friend and just make a pile of booze date and you’re in. Stop being fake unsure. Read this letter again to yourself. He likes you.
xx
-LESLEY ARFIN
LesleyArfin.com
CafeconLesley.BlogSpot.com
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word word barf is 100% rite, he wants to hit it. Women need to finally learn that any guy that hangs out with them wants to bang them, either consciously or subconsciously.
it’s like magic
i’ve banged a lot of my friends. it’s pretty easy to do, and they’re normally cool with just keeping it at that
Jesus, if I was this dude (and I totally have been this dude), I would want you to go for it because I’m too much of an awkward geek to do it myself. Shit or get off the pot!
I AM this dude and this is all news to me I assure you. Dman, I wish I hadn’t just masturbated. call you tommorrow “Horny in June”
all guys want 2 fuck all girls always…it’s a syllogism…sylloJIZM!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!
yawn.
He wanted to fuck you. Then you banged his friend.
what the fuck is she asking? don’t dignify this shit with a response
Who ever this dude is needs to flush this bitch down the toilet.
you go barf
What kind of slutty lady are you? Don’t you know that all you need to do is have a lot of booze step 1. Hang with said hot friend step 2. Once alone, just start making out with him and “fuck the shit out of him” get it out of your system step 3. And don’t write back to barfin talkin’ bout how you feel weird cause you fucked your friend.
Rulez for anyone. If you want to fuck someone start making out with them. Usually dudes will want you to fuck them once you start kissing them most dudes are easy sluts. It’s that simple. Geez
If he really likes you maybe he’ll let you do it without booze. He might even initiate. awesome right?
i think im fucking crushed out on Barf.
awesome
If you’re hanging out alone with a guy and a pile of booze and he’s not making obvious passes by the end of the night, it’s never happening. You’ve misread this situation.
Leslie nailed it! She had me at “who’s Harmony?”
Whoever this “horny in june” bitch – she’s a fucking loser bitch. She already broke the golden rule of fuck buddies – you’re not suppose to enjoy their company or have a “genuine friendship” with your fuck friend. That’s why it feels awkward and it’s going to stumble into a half-ass bf/gf bullshit. Bitch will wake up crying and go throwing rocks at dude’s window for not returning a booty call. This bitch is confused and confusion leads to crazy.
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here’s a fact for you: not all dudes are just walking cock life-support machines. i had a girl recently i wanted to bone down on and then homegirl(fuck you) banged like 3 of my friends before coming on to me at a party super hard and despite the fact that my dick was harder than a superhero metal, i said no, cause i didn’t wanna lay the san diego mattress. SEE HOW IT WORKS
I have a friend who I know wants to fuck me and I’m still cockblocking that shit because you know why – There are Homies and there are HOEmies. Don’t ever intersect the two.
My brother wants to have sex with me should I do it?
Bitch, don’t fuck my friends! And if you do, don’t fuck the stupid ones, it makes you super unattractive.
I have sex with my friend Luke all the time. I think that you should just say “What the hell!!! I wanna fuck you” and fuck the shit out of him (giggle)…
That´s all from me!!! XD
I want to fuck
Y friend online