I’ve recently reentered the dating environment — or am trying to get my feet wet again, anyway. It has been about six months since mutually ending a two-and-a-half year relationship.
(Photo courtesy of Titty City)
I’ve recently reentered the dating environment — or am trying to get my feet wet again, anyway. It has been about six months since mutually ending a two-and-a-half year relationship. I’m 33. What I’m beginning to feel is that it is quite hard to seem attractive if one is not financially stable, especially if one is beyond one’s 20s. Two graduate degrees and an economic meltdown later, I’m not as financially solvent as I’d hoped to be by this point, though I work extremely hard and try to look on the bright side of things.
So yeah, I’m poor but not insufferable / lame about it. But the impression I get from friends and acquaintances (not to mention the media) is that financial struggles are a big turn off. Admittedly, I’d rather have that sorted out at this point than be on the road to ultimate relationship commitments, but I’d also like to share the good times with someone while sending out those job applications and keeping myself creatively occupied. What do you think?
-CLIFFORD IN AUSTIN
I once had a crush on a boy named Cliff Allen. He was in a hardcore band. Everyone in that band was cute. I loved all of them at one point, but they all took themselves way too seriously and none of ‘em really liked me anyway — especially not Cliff Allen. He had acne and I thought he was hot.
I don’t think girls are attracted to money as much as they are attracted to guys who work hard. Making tons of money should be a benefit of working hard, but it isn’t always like that (take firefighters for example, or construction workers). Needless to say, six months isn’t that long to be single and I assure you that if you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll find someone.
Dude, everyone is poor right now. Really. We all have financial struggles and will most likely continue to have them forever. It has nothing to do with love. You’ve seen the TV show Roseanne, right?
Girls don’t like guys who live with their parents. We don’t like guys who sleep on couches. We don’t like guys who can’t afford to go out to dinner or to the movies once in a while. If you got those things covered, you’re good to go. If you don’t, well … get it together! You’re 33! Girls are turned on by security. Security doesn’t mean having money, it means not being a fucking pussy and bitching about it all the time. As long as you’re not whining, you’ll be fine with the ladies.
xo
-LESLEY ARFIN
LesleyArfin.com
CafeconLesley.BlogSpot.com
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If a girl takes her top off AND paints her face like that, she must not be real cute.
lesly knows where it’s at.
but for real, maybe a little less “keeping creatively occupied” and a little more “looking for a fucking job.”
King Diamond is a transformer!!!! Errrr I mean tranny!!!!
yea lesely had it right in the last paragraph. girls don’t want bitchs. for me i stay single, also still in 20′s, but the stronger you look the more secure they feel and then i have it made.
Very well put, Barfy.
Cliff, just try. Without whining and/or mooching. It’ll all even out. I’m your age and have to bust my ass at 2.5 jobs just to cover my bills and still have a little left over. There are a lot of hustles out there, legit or not-so, and at this point in your life there should be a number of things you know how to do that can get you paid. If not, learn some.
Just don’t be lazy. That’s 10000x worse than being broke.
PS – I’m rubbing one out to the chick in the King Diamond makeup tonight.
this black metal chick is hot!!!
I’m 33 and well taken care of. So, yes, they will!
give a bitch a sody and some prangles and she’s yours for the night
wait, you think firefighters and construction workers are poor? sure, i mean, if you’re comparing them to stock brokers maybe, but if you’re comparing them to musicians or academics they’re practically made of solid gold.
don’t forget those “poor” firefighters retire at 40 and get a sweet pension for the rest of their lives
btw, by the look of this poor sap’s sentence structure, those “two graduate degrees” were likely in “sound arts” and/or “graphic design”
Funny you should ask I had my first $10M exit when I was 33. 10 years later, I’ve had a few of those.
What was the question again?
firefighters and construction workers can both make six figures. AND they’ve got no debt haning over their heads. women like dudes who have their shit together, however you interpret that. If you are smart and not dedicating your life to something altruistic, having your shit together often means having some money by 33. Sorry dude. two masters degrees, no job, no focus and thousands upon dollars in debt doesnt sound like having ones shit together.
I had a friend who lived in a van by the beach and he bedded more beautiful women than anyone I have ever known. He just had a way with the ladies. He get them to cook for him and do his laundry and let them sleep at their places. The guy was a pimp.
And what about the old joke about a musician without a girlfriend? Remember that one?
Self confidence is internal and has many origins – maybe someone is really good looking, or is athletic, or really funny, or is naturally comfortable around women, is in a band, etc. Money is just another way men get self confidence, particularly men that weren’t the alpha males in high school. The women that are attracted to money are the ones you want to stay away from.
Find your self confidence any way you can. For many people though, getting money is easier than getting a sense of humor, or getting in shape, or learning to feel good about yourself. Also, the majority of women don’t like guys that are pussies. That’s a good tip too. Lots of poor artist types are pussies.
Hopefully you already know this… be honest about it. As long as you’re doing something about it, and not being stupid with the money you do have (or at least when you have it) then get on in thar.
Yeah Barf. Just replace firefighters and construction workers with combat soldiers and Chicago crime scene cleaners.
no presents this christmas
broke chicks.
I prefer when the comments are less earnest. It’s less gay.
Ha, yeah, I feel like this question gets asked a hundred times a month here, but now everyone’s being nice. I guess we’re all in a real supportive mood today!
Not everyone is broke right now. I’m mutherfucking swimming in gold coins like Scrooge McDuck.
“2 graduate degrees” = gross. Nothing less attractive than some pseudo-academic folly-hound who studied “sociology” or somesuch.
I’m living at home and dating plenty. Women want you to have a plan, that’s all.
I’m gonna lay it all out for you boneheads: THE LESS MONEY YOU’RE MAKING, THE MORE WOMEN WANT YOU. I know guys living in their Mom’s house that are getting laid by 100x hotter women than stockbrokers who are making 500 Gs a year (many of whom aren’t getting laid at all).
Street Carnage, can we do a study here? A graph correlating how much $ one earns on one axis vs. how much pussy one gets on the other? I think the data will bear me out.
The poorer you are, generally speaking, the more attractive you look to women, because your time isn’t spent being an asshole (ie, making money and worrying how you’re not making enough of it). Even women in their 30s are going to want to hit that janitor, that musician, that street hustler more than that stockbroker because the less focused you are on money, the more ‘interesting’ you appear to them.
Barf won’t say all this shit because when women own up to the fact that they lay more dudes who are lazy they are basically making the world’s productivity go down, and then who’s going to fly our planes, design our tunnels, build our schools, etc.? But the simple truth of the matter is women want guys who are ROMANTIC, and who has time to do/be all that pussy-crap? GUYS WHO AREN’T WORKING, that’s who.
I knew this dude who lived in his car and went on a ton of dates, he even picked up all the girls. He got a lot of action. I think it was because he never had to do the whole Seinfeld thing in front of the curb of the apartment. Like, he’d just bypass the whole coffee conversation for obvious reasons.
The guys in halfman were CUTE!!!!