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I just fought with my girlfriend over a blowjob and she told me to eat shit and die –- and I got to wondering, is that such a bad thing?
I just fought with my girlfriend over a blowjob and she told me to eat shit and die -– and I got to wondering, is that such a bad thing?
-SCATMAN
Scatman,
First off, let’s get this shit straight: Feces or PP-2 (Poo Poo # 2, so as not to confuse it with PP-1, PeePee # 1, as classified by the DSM-IV) is composed of a lot of shit, namely: bacteria, undigested food matter or roughage, bilirubin and water. With relation to death, bacteria are of interest. Most people think of bacteria as something to avoid, but a fun fact microbiologist enjoy touting is that if you compare the total number of cells in your body that are of human origin vs. the total number of bacteria living on and inside of you, your cellular composition would be more bacterial than human!
Given the brief details of your relationship, it should be of no surprise to you that you are largely scum but you’d be surprised with how many surprised people I can surprise with the surprise in the last sentence (as indicated by the exclamation point — surprise!). We need bacteria for the normal function of our digestive tract. So, if you’re merely a receptacle for the incubation and propagation of microorganisms, then why is eating shit, aka coprophagia, worrisome? (You are what you eat.)
Simply put, my crap ain’t yours. The population of bacteria that live inside of your gastrointestinal tract has a different assortment than the ones that live inside of your favorite ethics professor –- similar to how New York has more Puerto Ricans than Mexicans, but in Los Angeles it’s the opposite. In considering the variety of gut flora, you must remain aware of its importance to disease since excrement is the final dwelling of pathogenic bacteria, viruses or parasites within certain individuals. Ingestion of these microorganisms can result in symptoms ranging from a bit of diarrhea to something more significant, like death –- thus the expression: “Eat shit and die.” That expression specifically dates from 1994, around the commercialization of the internet, when antibiotics/antivirals were less prevalent and more people actually ate shit and died from stuff like AIDS, or whatever.
Look, if you must eat shit, make sure it’s coming from a reliable source, like your mom or dad or even your significant other. Studies on gut flora have shown that you may share more than your genes with your close relations. Treatments with fecal transplantation are even used in certain patients where the gut flora is depleted as a result of a given therapy since without the good bacteria populating your GI-tract, you become more susceptible to pathogenic microorganisms like C. difficile. Furthermore, if you’re like me and enjoy the sensual art of analingus, guess what else you’ll be sharing beyond intimacy…
Here’s a list of oral fecal pathogens:
- Giardiasis[1]
- Hepatitis A[2]
- Hepatitis E[3]
- Rotavirus
- Shigellosis (bacillary dysentery)[4]
- Typhoid fever[5]
- Vibrio parahaemolyticus Infections[6]
- Enteroviruses, including poliomyelitis
- Cholera
- Clostridium difficile
- Cryptosporidiosis
- Ascariasis
- Bacteroides
- Salmonella
- Yersinia
- Campylobacter
- Aeromonas
- Candida
- E. coli O157
- Entamoeba histolytica
ENJOY SHIT AND SURVIVE!
Brought to you by the Oral-Fecal Society of Canada
Hon. Michel Chen O.F.S.C.
she shits pasta
This shit-bringing website tells us about shit we can actually use!
agree with @finally. :
After so many loose runs promoting debauched behaviors, it’s great to see that SC has increased its moral fiber and is now engaged in a lengthy movement toward making a solid contribution.
woah, that photo… That ain’t spaghetti kids!
I demand more “Ask Pinky!”
Punk science !
I believe that the caption to the photo contains a misspelling of antihelminthic. This suggests to me that the picture was taken from some source other than a scholarly medical journal.