What do you do when your friend is almost murdered by a drunk driver? Why you roast him of course.
What do you do when your friend is almost murdered by a drunk driver? Why you roast him of course. Ted Shumaker, the man behind our radio show and the genius behind Gay Beach, was recently destroyed by a wasted guy who then dragged him for a block until he had no ass. That’s right, his entire ass was dragged off and spread down Kent St. like a line of raspberry jam. He was also knocked unconscious and had so many bones broken that he had to relearn how to walk. We can sit and cry and hold his hand or we can make fun of him. What would you do?
UPDATE: Just talked to Glaser. Looks like I’m going to be the only one making fun of Ted. The surgeons at NYU are going to be fucking pissed if I make him laugh his ass off.
Here’s the small stuff you should be sweating…
It’s the first anniversary of Giggles and the return of Tedward! He’s back from near death and ready to party with you guys.
We’ve got a great show planned and a raffle with cool prizes you can keep or re-gift come holiday time. Up to you.
PERFORMANCES BY ALI WONG. GAVIN McINNES, JON GLASER PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS
RAFFLE PRIZES FROM M.CARTER, L’ASSO PIZZA, DADDY’S, CAKE SHOP, THE FIERY FURNACES, HANNIBAL BURESS, DC COMICS, J.PENRY, RVNG RECORDS, WOWCH, NATHAN GELGUD, JEWISH ROSARIES, AMERICAN APPAREL, DELOCATED, A COLLECTION OF GIGGLES POSTERS AND MORE MORE MORE
HOSTED BY DON STAHL
$10 gets you in plus 1 free drink and raffle ticket!
THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST GIGGLES YET
BRUAR FALLS
Tuesday, December 7th
245 Grand St
Brooklyn, NY 1121
No one gives a shit.
I don´t think you should make fun of him
What do you do when your friend is almost murdered by a drunk driver?
First thing to do is visit him in the hospital.
Second thing to do is get a dictionary or watch some LA Law or something, cause you obviously don’t know what ‘murder’ means you stupid fuck.
See, that’s why I drink and drive.
Maybe it wasn’t because the driver was drunk. Maybe he was just a bad driver?
Seems boring
Are you gonna take off your shirt and wear those fingerless bicycle gloves as usual?
If so, I’m sure to be there. NOT! Eww! But I’m just a hot art slut girl, what do I know. xo
HMMMMM OK?
Kind of cool that Gay Beach would sacrifice his ass to plug the second season of a show on Adult Swim.
It doesn’t matter.
Woweee, tough crowd.
I bet all of you would love to get your ass dragged off and the bragging rights to go with it, er, went with it, when it got scraped off a block.
Oh wait, the inconvenience of having to re-learn how to walk might cramp your first night-gallery-hopping style…
@reo, maybe ‘almost murdered’ is an oxymoron & slightly dramatic for effect…but way to be overly effing knitpicky on a minor point and missing the bigger picture- DUDE was hit by a car and dragged! Has that ever happened to you or anyone you know? You come off like an insensitive prick and that’s the worst kind of prick to be…
My comment should read, ‘scraped off down a whole block,’ not ‘scraped off a block’, since that conveys a different mental picture…
@Too hipster
I didn’t miss the big picture, quite the opposite. I kept my eye on the ball while Gavin lost his head.
Almost killed? Definitely, and that’s terrible. Almost Murdered? Nope, not even close, so don’t fucking go there.
You might be too hipster to care but the facts is the facts and regardless of Gavin’s emotional state/intellectual laziness when he wrote the post it doesn’t give him the right to upgrade the severity/reality of what happened. His boy got fucked up and that story is real enough, by dropping ‘murder’ Gavin is just being hysterical and it has the effect of reducing sympathy for the guy with no ass.