Seriously? This is why we can’t have nice things.
You know me — I’m a pussy: I’m predictably delighted by the historic health care bill that passed on television last Sunday night.
I’m gay like that: Even though I’m personally going through some tough financial times, I’d actually be willing to pay more taxes if it meant poor people could have health care like I do. When I confess this feeling to Real Men, I end up being ashamed for being ashamed that our nation has gone so long without providing basic medical care for its citizens.
My friends who are doctors — good people — say it’s the end of the world. They say that in ten years it will be impossible to get a hernia operation. Their explanation for this is so complicated and boring that I just keep zoning out. No hernia operations in ten years? Sounds melodramatic — I have no choice but to believe that they are full of shit.
I’m going on my gut: With every single republican voting NO on this bill, after 16 months were spent making concessions for them, it says to me that something fishy is going on. Human beings don’t organically agree on logical topics with that kind of unanimity — it points to coercion and concern for appearances, like everyone in the 1950s mysteriously agreeing that you shouldn’t give blowjobs.
That vote was some Stepford Wives shit, and it makes me question the integrity of their ostensible argument.
To vet this theory, I ran it by my hunch-buster friend — good person; smartest guy I know. He’s so smart that he’s a complete failure, living off his grandparents’ inheritance and making less than 30k a year. He’s unable to function in society; too smart. What does he think of the health care reform?
“It’s the greatest thing ever,” he said.
“Yep, I’ll never pay for health care again.”
What did he mean? Well, he found a hack in the system — the first of many, to be sure:
1. Cost of Health Insurance = $6500
2. Cost of penalty for not having health insurance = $750
3. 750 < 6500
4. Hack: give up health insurance, just buy it if you get very sick or have accident. Insurance company can’t deny you because of pre-existing condition.
That sounds scary; I’m sure someone on Obama’s team thought of it. Right?
(Don’t tell anyone about that trick by the way — loose lips and all.)
I’m going with my gut: I believe Obama. He knows more than I do, and he’s the first leader I’ve ever innately trusted. I think it’s likely that the same crew who during the election shouted that he was a Socialist and a Muslim and a Black Supremacist are now shouting similar lies about his legislation.
As for N.O.W. and the lefties whining that Obama’s a sell-out and pushing him in between a rock and a hard place? Fuck you too, amirite? Your candidate, Ralph Nader, didn’t win –- and this is exactly why. This is about compromise and realism –- the only way a leader in this clusterfucked shithole government can get things done.
Seems to me that both ends of the political spectrum are acting like selfish ideologue fuckholes who would rather further their own agendas than bring people better health care.
My gut tells me this bill was a historic effort that will start to do just that. It’s just a hunch I’ve got, because above all I trust our president.
Maybe I’m part of the problem.