So I went to see the Antwoord last week in at the Melkweg in Amsterdam, which was awesome, but the intro act they booked was infuriatingly awful.
So I went to see the Antwoord last week in at the Melkweg in Amsterdam, which was awesome, but the intro act they booked was infuriatingly awful. After an hour and a half of waiting for the Ninja to appear, an ugly couple of 30-somethings bounced onto the stage dressed like they had time-warped out of shitty party in 2002, wearing trucker hats and giant bling dollar signs that looked like they had been printed out and glued to cardboard. The only decent thing about their look was their boombox that sat languishing at the back of the stage, which is a shame, really, because these assholes don’t deserve to own it.
Anyway, they came out to a hall of South Africans and Amsterdammers, didn’t mention Amsterdam or South Africa, and instead started repping their home village of Tilburg in Brabant (the Missouri of the Netherlands) and giving shout-outs to Rotterdam (Amsterdam’s arch-nemesis). Then some Lego shades of primary colors started blinking at epilepsy frequencies on the screens behind them and they pressed the play button on their Macbook, which triggered a horrible series of sounds along with which they started singing:
“Hey! There’s a party at my friend’s house! Tonight! You’re all invited!” x18
That was “Party 2Nite,” which they followed up with other garbage like “Gunz R Stupid,” “Thiz Partyz Hot” and “Do Tha Robot.” The girl was jumping around but spent most of the time doing the running man. The guy didn’t really move around much, but occasionally to dazzle the crowd he busted out his only dance move: a mildly high front kick. Oh, and did I mention that they’re ugly?
Nobody was having fun, and even the burnout 45-year-old hippy who goes to literally every show at that place and dances 1992 gabber-style nonstop right next to the stage stopped dancing after a few songs. The crowd starting getting violently angry because they had been on for more than 20 minutes. People started booing them, yelling “FOK JULLIE” and throwing garbage at them. Their response was to throw the garbage back at the crowd, and then start singing a song called “Coxucker”:
“Fuck you! (Fuck you!)
I’m gonna fuck you hard with my cock in your face!
Fuck you! (Fuck you!)” etc.
They followed this with a song about how much they love to suck dick (“Swallow It”).
They were finally booed off/ran out of shitty music at around the 40-minute mark. The crowd had run out of garbage (we would have brought barrels full of rotten fruit if they only had taken the trouble to warn us) and was yelling horrible things at them, but couldn’t even curse them by name since they never even introduced themselves. When I went out to take a piss in the lobby, I saw a table selling shirts. They were sold out of Die Antwoord shirts, but they still had ones with pictures of a boombox and the word Darker.
This “band” [their quotes, not mine] started in 2009 as a creative outlet for the post-teenage angst and frustrations of life of Donnie Darker and Evil-ien. Originally intended to be a one-man band, the both decided to forgo the logistical nightmare of having one guy carrying all the equipment and end up being alone in that dressing room with too much food and drinks. -Darker’s website
Their slogan is “Darker is the New Black,” which I’m going to interpret as “Darker is going to be marginalized by Western society for hundreds of years.”
-TWODAY
Send “Dear Street Carnage” letters to SBTVC@StreetCarnage.com
so, you enjoyed one “pretending to not take it seriously, but sort of actually are” hip-hop group but are infuriated and confused by a different “pretending to not take it seriously, but sort of actually are”
call a spade a spade here, both groups are fucking awful, the difference is age, youtube hits and a south african accent
This is why I just usually stay home, drink beer and whack off to Russian porn.
a shitty review of a shitty band…i like the consistency
The past hundred years provides AMPle evidence that apes and AMPlifiers don’t usually mix well—–AM I RIGHT, OR WHA-A-A-A-AT!!!????
SBTVC, don’t forget you started it all.
Anonymous said it.
hahaha… rhoda, u asshole
stupid people trying to be ironic is worse than stupid people being sincere.
You must have been shocked to find that the club had booked a shitty group to open for a shitty group.
How did you know they weren’t actually Die Antwoord? I mean, they guy looks like he never knew his dad, the woman is as ugly as a mud fence, and they were terrible, right?
like how you said “30 somethings”
DUDE have you seen Ninjas face? He’s at least as old as Gavin.
wow did you actually pay cash for antwoord? i don’t understand where you’re imagination and common sense let you down.
stop trolling faggot. this review is fake. I was at the show and this act were awesome, better than die antwooort, no one threw anything at the stage and everyone got free blowjobs at the end of the show
confused as to why no one’s jumped down this idiot’s throat for using “the antwoord”…..oh well, here goes
is the point of this article that both groups are exactly the same; Dutch, or Dutch-descendants wearing the same stupid shit and playing the same stupid shit?
wait….Die Antwoord is lame?
*these Bizzarro glasses must be working.
Summary of this “article”: bitter, talentless hipster fumes in the audience as non-bitter, talentless hipsters get paid to have fun.
Summary of my comment: bitter, talentless bald person wastes critiques bitter, talentless hipster’s “article”.
I don’t care what anybody says… ninja singing into a 38-inch dong coming out his own underwear while covered in metallic mud is pure gold.
I wouldn’t call myself a hipster, and I stand by the objectivity of that broad from Die Antwoord being way ugly.