Okay so my chick wants me to choke her with one hand and pull on her pigtails with the other, all while she’s hand cuffed. i will admit that as hot as it is, it is harder for me to focus on pumping that rump while trying to scalp/strangle the life out this bitch. I guess it’s not so bad tho.
Dear Drew,
Okay so my chick wants me to choke her with one hand and pull on her pigtails with the other, all while she’s hand cuffed. i will admit that as hot as it is, it is harder for me to focus on pumping that rump while trying to scalp/strangle the life out this bitch. I guess it’s not so bad tho.
Also, she wants to pour hot wax on me. That to me seems gay. Doesn’t that hurt? Why would I want that? Sometimes she gets totally naked in my car when we drive somewhere and has me spank her while she masterbates or gives me head. One time she even made me pull over and fuck her behind a seedy ass motel in the middle of the day against a fence. That is just a little too much, don’t you think? sometimes it is a really inappropriate time, like we are about to have company or I am late to work. I mean, I am not even that into all this shit. I mean, I like to fuck like a pornstar as much as the next gent but chrissakes! The problem is she is UBER-sensitive. If I bring it up she will likely totally turn on me and maybe never offer it again! How do I tell her I want to fuck her a lot, in many different ways, but just a bit more on my schedule- and not have her get all frosty or insulted?
Hey, I understand where this chick is coming from. This is the girl version of only wanting what you can’t have: She thinks she’s being dirty and deviant, and the more uncomfortable you are with this shit, the more she feels like a freak for wanting it. Which, weirdly enough, is a turn-on because it verifies her whole “im a total cum slut” persona. Bitch is a power-bottom.
So how do you deal with her? How about grow some balls and take control. Next time she tries to pull that shit in the car, be like “You don’t deserve to give me head right now, but you wait till we get home and I’ll maybe let you suck my cock. Maybe.” For her, the whole choking/pigtail pulling shit is just a testing of power limits, because she watched Secretary a couple times too many. So just remind her, firmly (maybe while grabbing her face and making her look right into your eyes) that YOU dictate when/where the sex shit happens. And it’s not misogynistic because it what’s she wants. It’s like 8th wave feminism, I’m pretty sure.
Hope that helps,
Drew
P.S.- Stop being a pussy. Hot wax doesn’t hurt. But it’s a little 1999, ‘Livin’ la Vida Loca,’ so unless you are a gay Menudo boy, just tell her that that stuff is for guys who let their girlfriends paint their fingernails black and take their clothes off to go dancing in the rain.
>choke her with one hand and pull on her pigtails with the other, all while she’s hand cuffed.
Slow down and smell the pussy. She can’t go anywhere.
I bet he could fuck her with a dirty toiler plunger, HOT!
you don’t deserve her and my crystal ball tells me she’s about to dump your ass anyway, you dickless piece of doodoo. probelm solved.
this’ll be one of the guys that’s still calling her and pleading for another shot 10 years, one wife and two kids down the road. mark the words.
“She thinks she’s being dirty and deviant, and the more uncomfortable you are with this shit, the more she feels like a freak for wanting it. Which, weirdly enough, is a turn-on because it verifies her whole “im a total cum slut” persona. Bitch is a power-bottom.”
well said.
Dancin’ in the rain is soooo gay.
spot on.
treat her like a whore, it’s really not that hard. play mind games bro.
Dude, ride that deviant fuck train all the way to terriblly messy and psychotic breakup city.
Step 1: Roll her up in a carpet.
Step 2: Put the carpet out on the curb for pickup.
Step 3: Go back inside and make some phone calls.
Step 4: Jerk off, go to bed.
i just remembered the scene from Little Nicky where that guy pours hot wax on himself.
anyway, just pimp her out and make some money off the bitch.
ten stars
On the wax front there are candles now that are made so they don’t drip wax everywhere, the wax that does build up can get to like 5,000 degrees and give you 3rd degrees on your fukstick. Be warned.
Can some please tell me what the fuck a “power bottom” be?
you’ll be kicking yourself for taking this crazy bitch for granted when the next girlfriend you have is so timid in bed that she won’t even let you do her doggie style. just sayin.
I agree on the talking down to her.
She’ll get even more turned on, and you’ll get to do it when and where you want.
Power bottom? someone that finds it empowering/hot to be a bottom, a submissive.
Heaps of girls are power bottoms.
I can’t figure out if the fake questions or Drew’s moronic advice is the worst part about this unfortunately recurring feature.
pass her this way. I’ve been trying to get a girl to make out with me while I wear her underwear
been there, done that. i wish i knew how to handle them at the time, but i find that girls like this are a handful all the fucking time.
everything is a fucking issue from how much you call to who got TP last.
fuck it, im down for freaks but low maintenance freaks that dont need to be fucking validated all the fucking time. The only person that can really trully handle someone like this is someone tha has some odd super ego trip as well. This guy sounds like a “well adjusted” normal, his woman would probably do better with a rock muscian or performance artist, some big ego fucker.
Who spends time thinking about fucking Lisa Simpson? Inserting cartoon characters into S&M situations does not a boner make.
“Can some please tell me what the fuck a “power bottom” be?”
ur fuckin mom is one, u dick face
la vida loca quote for the win
I’m a rock musician. And that Lisa Simpson pic gives me the hots.
slick rick said treat em like a prostitute so
say what?
all men need to know is that no always means yes. always. remember that. now go have fun!
Dear Drew;
I have decided to only have sex with racist white women. Is that enough to prevent me from getting any diseases?
I had a girl like that once. I tied her up and left the room. Went to the diner, had a sandwhich, smoked a cigarette and came back, did it to her, then left again for a walk, came back, did it again whiles shes freaking out about me leaving her there, then untied her. After that I couldn’t get rid of her, she started stalking me, waiting on my doorstep for hours until 4am when I got home. Calling non-stop leaving one freaked out message after another on my machine. Shit like that.
I say, leave this girl right now, this is the type of girl that if you give her what she wants, and then get sick of, she will try to cut your dick off or something. Don’t follow this column
s advice. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SATISFY THIS GIRL. Just have sex with her real half-assed and whine when she wants you to do some fucked up shit. be a pussy about it. then she will get bored with you and leave on her own. that’s what you want, trust me!
fuckin drew, thank you for finally putting a name to what i am! i can’t wait to email this entire post and comments to my bf. fuck yes daddy’s in trouble. if he ever grabs my face and makes me look him in the eye while he tells me i don’t deserve to suck his dick yet i will cum myself to fucking death right then and there omg i’m about to bust right now thank you thank you thank you
Marry her dear boy!
Tis the only way.
hey bud, your chick is half as crazy as the girl i’m rolling with now… so I have no advice.
fuck
[...] chicks all the time, and the only girls you are going to attract are chicks with low self-esteem or power bottoms. So next time you call my bike “retarded” because it has a basket and doesn’t go [...]
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God, women are insane. The choking, pulling hair, being dominated thing makes me think one thing: Daddy Issues. I bet this chick wants you to “rape” her, slap her, and call her names. Daddy did it ‘cuz he “loved” her. The more I fuck, the more I run into psychos like this. Run.