I know you think the liberal character you do on Fox News is comparable to Colbert or Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin but it’s not even in the same universe. They are mimicking Republicans using actual quotes. You have created a cartoon character who spouts bullcrap no liberal would ever say. That’s called a “straw man” argument (look it up). Not that it matters. Your irrelevant show is on at 4 in the morning and nobody watches it.
It’s not Street Carnage’s guy, it’s mine. Also, you don’t know what I think, “bullcrap” is a gay word, Red Eye is on at 3 and gets about half a million viewers a night (virtually all DVR’d) while prime timers like Piers Morgan and Anderson Cooper are lucky to get half that. And finally, I don’t think you have the depth to really understand the sheer genius that is Miles. Allow me to break it down for you by giving time stamped quotes accompanied by the real life examples from which they are derived.
Gavin Miles McInnes
A joke gets cut out at the beginning here. Something about Miles being pro-welfare because he doesn’t hate black people the way Republicans do.
5:12 THE GOP CLAIM TO BE THE JESUS PARTY BUT THEY DON’T WANT TO HELP PEOPLE
During OWS, I heard this a lot. They said Republicans are hypocrites for invoking Christ but not helping people. This is based on the assumption that welfare and handouts and housing projects are good for the poor. I don’t think this is a given. There is plenty of evidence that Roosevelt’s New Deal made blacks worse off because it took away their pride and sense of self achievement. The Indians don’t seem to be faring too well with their handouts either. Anyway, no matter how you feel about it, it is a real quote. As the LA Times put it, ”Many Republicans believe theirs is the party of Jesus Christ, but, in practice, they are the party of an atheist, Hollywood intellectual named Ayn Rand.”
5:30 THE TOP RICHEST 1,000 PEOPLE HAVE MORE MONEY THAN THE POOREST 3 BILLION
Oliver Stone said “in a world in which the richest 300 or 500 or 1,000 people have more wealth than the poorest 3 billion“ while defending himself against The Daily Beast’s Michael Moynihan. Sorry Stone but in a world where two thirds of the world’s billionaires started from scratch, this in and of itself is not an example of injustice. Or, as Breitbart would put it, “So?”
8:04 VOTE FOR OBAMA NEXT ELECTION
This is mostly a conservative fear but it’s not an absurd “straw man” concept. People laughed when they said Bloomberg would change term limits to get reelected, again, but it happened. There has also been much talk about amending the constitution to allow foreign borns like Schwarzenegger to run for president.
7:51 WE WANT TO TURN CHILDREN INTO LITTLE ROBOTS SO THEY CAN WORK AT THE FACTORIES
I’m afraid this comes from my favorite anarcho-punk band Crass. In the song “Systematic Death” Eve Libertine sings, “A child is born… Force him to crawl… Taught to fit the plan / Forty years of jobs / pushing little buttons / pulling little knobs.”
12:22 THE UNION FOREVER
All those lyrics are real Billy Bragg lyrics because, like a lot of pro-union types, he sees no difference between coal miners in the 1930s and teachers who get 4 months of holidays a year.
13:06 THE SCABS GET ALL THE BENEFITS WHILE THE UNION PAYS
Right before Crowder got his ass kicked by union thugs they claimed, “They can suck all the parasitical [sic] benefits and wages that unions have negotiated and they get it for free.”
16:00 I WOULD RATHER EVERYONE GOT POORER IF IT MEANT WE’D ALL BE EQUAL
This is what Stone was getting at with his rich VS. poor stat and it’s a common Socialist belief. This is why Margaret Thatcher called out the “honorable gentleman” and said, “he would rather that the poor were poorer, provided that the rich were less rich.” A lot of liberals are more focussed on their hatred of money-making than they are with any kind of justice. Remember when Fran Liebowitz said, “No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.” Go tell a biotech entrepreneur who is finding cancer cures that he stole his $100 million.
16:30 IF ONE BABY HAS 4 BUILDING BLOCKS AND THE OTHER HAS NONE, SHOULDN’T HE SHARE?
This was actually in the comments on Street Carnage but I can’t be bothered digging it up now. I find totally juvenile analogies are common with the far left and I believe it’s because that’s about as deep as they go with their beliefs. Things like, “Don’t you think less guns would be good?” and “Shouldn’t someone down on their luck get a helping hand?” are questions babies ask.
19:32 FOCUSSING ON THAT GIRL WHO WAS SHOT BY THE TALIBAN FOR WANTING EDUCATION IS DIVISIVE
I don’t know how many times I’ve come across this whole, “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” bullshit. If you have something bad to say about Muslims, you have to keep it to yourself because it’s hate speech. If it’s true, then it’s a hate fact. Feminists clam up when discussing Islam’s treatment of women and gays would rather bitch about marriage than criticize the Middle East for making their very existence a capital offense.
20:09 EXTREMISTS JUST NEED TO BE EDUCATED
retty much every time I talk to a liberal about multiculturalism they talk about all the great restaurants. When I mention the less convenient elements like female circumcision they say, “They just need to be educated.” Who needs to take a class in not cutting children’s vaginas?
25:26 ONE RELIGION DOMINATES THE ENTIRE MONTH OF DECEMBER
Fuck! I would kill to remember where I heard this line. I think it was in some kind of snarky jingle about America where comedians were laughing at this fact without acknowledging that they live in a country that is 75% Christian.
27:15 HOW ABOUT A PAGAN CHRISTMAS?
You’re not supposed to call Christmas Christmas anymore because of separation of church and state or something but the holiday is actually a pagan ritual. Jesus was born in the fall. This isn’t an example of Miles saying things liberals say but I had to stick it in here to show he doesn’t just say random shit for no reason. Also, though the bible is technically about 2000 years old, most Christians say it took 1,500 years to write so it’s more like 3,000 years old. I actually feel bad Miles had to take shit for this because he wasn’t wrong.
30:56 IT’S GOOD WHITES ARE GETTING WIPED OUT BECAUSE “WE” WILL LIVE LONGER
On Jezebel, a white fool named Hugo Schwyzer said, “The end of white men is good for white men” because, “We’ll probably live longer.” His logic goes like this: Hispanics tend to have longer life spans so when American becomes Hispanic “we” will live longer. See what he did there? He just jumped races by using the royal we and now he’s a long living Hispanic. Congratulations, dead person.
32:49 THE WHITE MAN IS THE BIGGEST LIAR ON EARTH
This is a Farrakhan quote that Malcolm X repeated a lot and it’s been sampled by Consolidated and Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy.
38:48 OBESITY IS A DISEASE
Yes people believe this despite no other country having as many fat people as we do. I honestly don’t get how anyone that fat can complain about anything. Do you know how much food you have to ingest and how little work you have to do to become 350 lbs? You’d have to be constantly stuffing your face and watching movies at home all day. Complaining about how hard your life is when you’re that fat is like a guy with no skin left on his penis complaining about how hard it is for people who masturbate 300 times a day.
Anyway, Miles is not a straw man caricature with no basis in reality. He’s real. I know because I used to be him.