Growing up in a house full of women and always having a dog proved one thing to me: Dogs fuckin’ LOVE to chew on panties.
While I look down on the bathroom floor and curl my lip in disgust to a pair of crusty, panty-pudding, caked underwear, my canine friends sees this shit as lunch. I once had a Dachshund that chewed holes in so many different pairs of my live-in girlfriend’s underwear it got to the point of her wearing crotchless panties every day. (Chewed-up underwear are surprisingly arousing.) Pussies are constantly secreting foul substances and puppies love that shit. Matter of fact, if I could somehow incorporate panty-pudding into dog food I just might be the richest man on the planet. People are crazy about their pets (women especially) and one taste of my pussy puppy chow will have their dogs doing back flips.
But that’s not the point. I’m currently babysitting my mother’s dog. He’s far away from dirty panties and while I was taking a shit today I noticed him trying to make off with a pair of my dirty underwear in his mouth. WTF? He’s gone from pussy to sweaty balls and asshole? This poor fucking dog. I thought about asking my girlfriend for a pair of dirty panties for him, but she doesn’t wear them. I could go buy a pair myself, but they wouldn’t be dirty and it’s that panty-pudding puppies love so much! I guess my only option at this point is a Craigslist ad, huh?
Think I’ll get a response?