Posted by
Lasse Holmberg Josephsen
• 06.21.12 09:00 am



I try to be a nice and caring human being, I really do.

But all this hatred around me is bringing me down, and I don’t wanna be down. I wanna be up—up where the sun is shining and the air doesn’t smell of cancer and corruption.

It’s summer outside, for the love of the bleeding Jesus nailed to a raggedy cross with rusty nails! STOP THE HATE!

It’s impossible to think with all this negativity around me. Too much stress. Too many bad vibes.

Too much hate.

Adam Carolla recently said in the New York Post that women are less funny than men and that women don’t belong in a writing staff. Carolla is wrong, of course. Women are very much needed in a writing staff. That coffee won’t make itself.

Chris Brown found himself in the middle of a nightclub brawl, supposedly over Rihanna, where, among other things, a woman was hit in the face by a bottle. As if Brown needed more news coverage containing the words “hit,” “face,” and “Rihanna.”

Alec Baldwin shoves reporters and is behaving nasty. When even the Baldwin brothers start behaving like madmen, you know we’re on the wrong path.

Where will this end? It feels like the whole world is caught in a hate tornado and we’re spinning out of control.

But I won’t let all this hatred keep me down. Nuh-uh! You can’t keep a good man down. And I’m a good man, yes I am.

A couple of days ago, another good man died in his own swimming pool. His name was Rodney King, and he was a man they couldn’t keep down. They tried, of course, but he kept getting up. It’s amazing how alcohol can make you ignore the police’s orders.

Rodney King was a fine human being.

Remember his words:

Can we all get along?

I hope so, Rodney. I sure hope so. I sure as shootin’ hope so. You’re darn tootin’ that I hope so. Anybody says I don’t hope so if full of beans and has ants in their pants.

But first we need to stop the hate. We need to corner the hate and beat it to death. We need to kick in hate’s teeth until it’s lying on the ground, bleeding and whimpering. Then we need to pee on it and light it on fire—but not before stealing its cell phone so it can’t call an ambulance.

The only way we can stop the hate is to get it out of our systems. So start hating. It’s the only way to stop it.

 

—LASSE HOLMBERG JOSEPHSEN

 

 

  1. LOVE MUSIC HATE RACISM LOVES PAKIS
  2. SOUND OF THE SIDEWALK: CAN ANYTHING BE DONE ABOUT THE FACT THAT “HATERS GONNA HATE”?
  3. STOP THE JUGGALO HOLOCAUST
  4. DEAR STREET CARNAGE: THIS IS WHY I LOVE TO HATE FACEBOOK
  5. STOP IT WITH THE “STOP KONY”!


Comments
  1. chow says:

    as the author posts a Aldof Hitler look-alike photo…. The socialization runs deep. Instead of wasting time with this grade 5 essay on hating, why not spend some time doing something interesting like determining if it is even possible that Hilter was ‘pure evil’.

  2. Lunchin'' says:

    Hitler Ocasek is most certainly Pure Evil.


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