Not to be crass, but I had to get your attention: It’s important, now more than EVER, that we educate ourselves as to what we can do to stay safe in these volatile times.
The Black Beatles were a collection of three Blacks (including the legendary Blognigger) and one White. For a short time in 2008 they came together like a united MLK dream, started a blog of the same name and wrote about base, deplorable things, like art or politics. Then as most cross-culture dreams end up, it slowly disintegrated, because life just doesn’t work that way. (Also, Ty fucked it up after the cease & desist.) The site is gone, the writings in vapor, but they have resurfaced here for you.
Listen: My heart really does bleed for these rich people who were killed by ACTUAL PIRATES.
It’s not easy to write this shit when it’s clearly too soon to be crass about situations that none of us take lightly — but my fear is that if I don’t provide this information NOW, then some of you really may find yourselves at risk within the coming weeks.
Here is the best way I can think to get this crucial point across:
QUESTION: What do the following people have in common?
KILLED by Stingray, MAULED by Tiger, EATEN by Bear, RAPED by bloodthirsty Egyptians chanting “Jew Jew Jew.”*
*And Nazir, if you think THIS is good, wait till you taste a shiksa!!
ANSWER: They ALL went into INSANE situations thinking they had a motherfucking ring of invisibility and a 1up mushroom. THIRTY LIVES. But lo; mother nature gave them each the stern black cock of reality.
Let me spell it out for you in case your dad is dead or just not Jewish: You cannot fucking go into insane situations in this world and expect to come home un-eaten.
I understand that Netflix on-demand does not yet have EVERY title that you’d like; the fact that you still have to sit and wait for Mr. Show DVDs to arrive by mail is a SHANDA. But if you fuck with tigers and Somalians, you’re going to be shot and eaten.
Listen, I’m a fucking left-wing humanitarian: Of course I’m nauseous over the Lara Logan attack. (The only potential bright side is that lusting after white women is the hallmark of a budding young democracy.)
I’ll tell you though: At least Sigfried and Roy, The Croc Hunter and Timothy TreadNotSoWell had the decency to remain on their respective domestic turf.
Not so with Ms. Logan, those Berkeley Hikers and Maryanne and The Skipper here — these yacht guys actually diverted US government resources away from the global Arab revolution so that they could sail around the Persian Gulf like lunatics.
It sucks that these guys got shot, and to make matters worse, now we have to sit and listen to all their friends say with a straight face how CAREFUL they were.
They weren’t CAREFUL!
Careful is using oven-mitts. Careful is putting on sunscreen. These people sailed a tiny boat along THIS ROUTE:
Don’t let this be you! Planning a trip to go lie down in front of Israeli bulldozers? To protest Bahrain’s treatment of gays? To paint BUSH-LIED flowers on a tollbooth at Iran/Iraq border? Cancel it now while you can still get the deposit back.
I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE NEXT, BUT IF YOU ARE, WE WILL POST ABOUT IT HERE AND HAVE A GOOD THERAPEUTIC LAUGH.
And talk about creepy, here’s their lonely website, forever enshrined as a token of their optimism, wanderlust and youthful spirit of adventure.
Simply tragic.
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Is Lara Logan photoshopped?!?!
Tell me those are her real chests.
You don’t have a better source for the chanting of “jew jew jew” than the fucking NY post?
What was the point of pointing out that they were “rich people”?
she wasn’t raped. she got her cunt pinched.
“[T]he fact that you still have to sit and wait for Mr. Show DVDs to arrive by mail is a SHANDA.”
No shit, dude. Can Obama please get off his lazy, Muslim, socialist ass and do something about this? What state capital do I have to take over to stop having to watch nine-minute YouTube clips of Life Is Precious and God and the Bible (2 of 3)?
Oven Mitts FTMFW
I heard she had bottles shoved up her butt. But anyway, Ben’s been chatting with way too many spanishes on message boards. MAD ‘CAPLOCKS’
What do they say, the earth is 3/4 water? And these dopes make a beeline for Somalia.
Re: Lara Logan. They are real and they are spectacular!
Hello, Ben, my Jewish brother.
I was going to write about the Lara Logan rape case until it seemed that a Giant Black Media Curtain descended over the story. Scrambling and scraping to find details, they became more scarce with each passing day. To my knowledge, neither Lara Logan nor any of her crew members have spoken publicly about what happened. On Takimag, we published an article today speculating why this might be:
http://takimag.com/article/why_egypt_is_silent/print#disqus_thread
i agree, but you “fucking left-wing humanitarian”s are so full of double standards; can girls that dress slutty expect “it” as well? cheers!
ps- i’m sure Logan’s over it; after all, there’s a sick facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Lara-Logan-An-apology-from-Egypt/196175880412583 apologizing for it, as “That is the same thing we were suffering from for years. That is the mob of the late regime” see- all better!
Honorable mention goes to Lori Berenson
http://www.peruviantimes.com/19/peruvian-times-interview-with-lori-berenson/7707/
audio highlights naivete
What about that guy who got his head cut off off in Iraq on youtube?
And those “hikers” in Iran?
Not dead, but still stupid.
Derrik you still trrying to makke the peoples laughig but we only laughnng at you stupid bleck.
Blogniger cesed being funnys after socelist Muslim pressident was installed to puppet leader for U.S.a. now we take over the world from CHINA!
From,
preck
Actually, none of this is tragic.
who knew that white jesus wouldn’t be enough to stop RPGs?
I started laughing at the beginning and then i didn’t stop. more like this please.
Nice font choiceon Takimag by the way, Jim, makes it a pleasure to read.
ah yes, summa this old blognigger magic.
Love you on twitter but this is too cruel. How would you feel if this were your relatives? ??
what I don’t like is that its cool for fucked up, dangerous corners of the world to be fucked up and dangerous until some entitled american asshole wanders in and gets themself killed. here’s a headline i’d be interested in:
“Naive American Pricks Sail Through Pirate-Infested Waters and DON’T Get Murdered”
HOLY SHIT!
Somali pirates are currently holding 800 hostages from a total of 50 vessels, ranging in size from fishing boats to giant freighters and oil cargoes. Giant freighters are bad ass ships filled with bad ass sea-types and even they’re afraid to sail near somali waters without a fucking warship running along side them. Our aging, intrepid 4 man crew of the 1.5 million dollar custom made ‘Quest’? They turned off their goddamned GPS and said “Fuck it, that should be good.” I can imagine them picturing god, smiling down, giving them the thumbs up and an encouraging pat on the bottom “you’ll be fucking FINE if you just BELIEVE.”
A close friend of theirs had this to say, “I hope this sends a message that you really shouldn’t be trying to go through that area.”
That TakiMag article is excellent.
Also, who cares about these old Christer farts? Christianity is the root of the liberal universalism which dictates everyone and every culture is equal.
@”Nice font choiceon Takimag by the way, Jim, makes it a pleasure to read.”
Nice choice to falsely accuse me of being the site’s designer; makes it a pleasure to call you stupid.
the rape things creepy, not going to comment on it (especially when she’s got her tits out in the photo like that)
but when you go to the pirate-murdered stupid-people ghost-website thing and click on the ‘where are we now’ link the logo says “The Spot – Live To Tell About It”
I don’t advocate rape but I also don’t feel any pity for Lara Logan. Not so much because she was a stupid American in a dangerous place expecting not to get chewed up. I don’t pity her because she is a social climbing shit journalist who is sold as an intelligent person simply because she has a British accent and she’s an 8(?). Unfortunately this rape thing is now going to turn her into an even more sympathetic person, so that when she is busy filing her shit reports, all people will be thinking is “She’s the one who was raped, wow how brave,and ooh that accent and those tits…”
She was raped and raped badly. This wasn’t a goose. I’ll find a link when I get home
Fuck, I love ben leo and jim goad. They are the only people that I know of who express my views articulately and with a sense of humor. I can’t even speak my mind around my friends
they got to sail around the world more then once which could be totally worth death especially if you’re over 50 who cares if you die a little sooner at least they enjoyed there annoyingly rich asses better then just getting old I bet they even still fucked
yo can we all just go back to their website, click on their thing that tells you where they are, and read the slogan of that spot company?
http://share.findmespot.com/shared/faces/viewspots.jsp?glId=0XFV0bF9tfP6mp4Dr2tu4Y18e4FrS1meL
‘live to tell about it’
2012 man
Diverting US govt resources away from subverting democratic revolution in the Arab world would truly be a noble way to go out, but I think that overstates their importance.
@anonymous
Ha! Good fuckin point.
do you guys get a prize every time you use the word ‘crass’?
when rachel corrie went toe-to-tank tread with a D-9 and got TKOed before the bell even rang, an israeli buddy of mine commented: “ok, so she iz a peace activist. and now she rest in peace. what de problem?”. not PC, I know…but it was pretty funny the way he said it.
*And Nazir, if you think THIS is good, wait till you taste a shiksa!!
haaaaaaaaaaa
@ Amy: in a word, embarrassed
“I thought we should have a contest and see if you can figure out where this guy on the left came from!! The winner gets to join Scott & myself for our trip across the Indian Ocean, up the Red Sea to the Med. Hurry up before this offer expires!”
expire, thats sad
From the bible-sailor woman’s website [she's recommending a store in San Diego where you can buy sailing guidebooks]: “Especially since more and more boats are trying to avoid the Red Sea. So, that means we have to think about the Indian Ocean and South Africa.”