Shannon Johnson was on Facebook while her kid drowned in the bathtub. Now they’ll send her to jail for 50 years. Good riddance, amirite?!
Why do we have prisons? Yes, yes, it’s to keep our Black population down and marginalized, and it’s a crucial industry economically speaking, but I mean OSTENSIBLY: Why do we have prisons? Two reasons:
1. To keep dangerous people off the streets so that they don’t pose a threat to less-dangerous people.
2. To punish wrongdoers for their crimes in order to act as a deterrent so that other people won’t commit those crimes.
With that in mind, this story fucking kills me:
This woman was on Facebook while her son was in the bath and the kid drowned in an inch of water. What a dumb cunt.
That said, I’ll tell you something that all parents in 2011 know: We’ve ALL been guilty of texting or being online when we should have paid closer attention to our kids. This wasn’t a case of leaving in a kid in a locked car in a 103 degree Super K parking lot. This isn’t the mom who shook her kid to death so that he’d shut the fuck up and she could finish Farmville. This was something that could happen to ANY normal, educated parent.
Lemme check email for two seconds…. He’s sitting up in an INCH of water and besides I can always hear him flapping around in there.
That was enough to kill ‘em.
And rightfully, she’s already been punished in the most horrible, public way imaginable.
This woman is living the ultimate nightmare of sorrow, death, guilt and twisted dark horror that your friend’s fake black metal band can only pretend to think is cool. In real life, your drummer cried when his dog died, while this woman’s pain is worse than anything Jesus ever went through on the cross.
Now they’re going to put her in jail?
Why?
You want to punish her to make sure no one else lets their kid die accidentally while they’re Facebooking? Just hearing about this case is enough to make any parent delete their Facebook account. It’s everyone’s worst nightmare — the jail time doesn’t add a god damn thing.
The State could never hope to punish this woman worse than she’s already being punished. If she was put into a cell and raped by Dominican lesbians with pointy tongue rings, it would seem like Club Med compared to the suffering she’s going through right now.
Careful before you judge her: If you’ve ever driven home buzzed, this could easily have been you. It’s just the luck of the draw whether you get home safe or slide into a family of six.
(And need I remind you once again that Wall Street is STILL not in jail for destroying the whole world. What those Men In Black did to this country is worse than The Day After, and in 2011 the perpetrators wouldn’t even SETTLE for a Club Med vacation because it’s cheesy and you’ve heard of it.)
SHE’S the one you want to put in jail?
Give this woman a fucking break.
—
P.S. I wrote this post on a plane with no Internet Access BEFORE I had ever seen this woman’s picture. I wanted you to have the same experience, so I put that random sobbing picture at the head of this story.
Here’s the real Shannon Johnson. Click that link and stare at her and don’t close the window until you’re done reading.
Now that I see she’s fat and white-trashy, a little crazy lookin’, corn-fed and hickish, I’m embarrassed to say I don’t feel as sorry for her.
If it was a sobbing Urban Intellectual, I’d want to give her a break. But this woman’s appearance makes me think she’s a clueless and irresponsible hick. Knowing she’s probably a trailer park mom, I secretly feel that if she doesn’t go to jail, maybe she’ll be at TGIF’s enjoying Apple Martinis within a couple of years. No one wants that.
I could have chosen a Black mom for the fake picture, but I don’t think it’d be as interesting that way; We’re always studying race. For today, let’s measure prejudice between sobbing city-type women and insane-looking big fat hicks. Get the racial aspect out of the equation.
Seriously, look at her. She probably sits on Facebook all fucking day while the kid eats Fritos and drinks Hawaiian Punch. Ew, and it happened in Weld County, Colorado, in the middle of nowhere. Literally probably a fucking trailer park.
Oh well, I’ve failed myself. This whole experiment makes me feel gross; I guess I got some prejudices to work through.
On the bright side though: Hey, at least I love the Blacks.
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you spent how long writing this?
this story literally made me sick to my stomach, parenthood is softening me.
They both should go to prison. That fat one is worse though, I hear you.
facebook has revealed the rue nature of society, specifically, bored suburban headcases. scary.
Bullshit. She left that kid alone for ten minutes. Buy a laptop if you really need to play
Just looking at her face, I would never be able to send her to jail. I feel awful for her, and I don’t think they’ll ever find a jury that would really make her do time.
it’s true. the hipster would not be guilty and the wal marshmellow is
Whenever I hear Black People talk in Ebonics, I can’t help but to think of redneck white trash talking in their retarded accents, and see the similarities between the two.
Hahaa. I had fun on this rollercoaster
This was really very real. I fell for it too. Too bad people can’t read.
I’m horrified with your characterizations. Ease up on white people, Benji, they’ve had it hard enough since forever.
Apparently nobody’s read the Facebook® License Agreement absolving them from any responsibility for what people do while using their product.
[Full disclosure: I'm half-white]
If anything, the hick mother will be given more leeway because she didn’t know any better / wasn’t educated properly and it’s Bush’s fault, ect ect ect.
White intellectuals on the other hand are always considered last, and always get the short end of the stick. They should take responsibility, they should know better, they should be accountible.
Fuck this world
I love talking people into neglecting their family on world of warcraft.
You have to go pick up your kid from school?
Look at that poor Jewish punnim.
Dominican lesbians with pointy tongue rings? That sounds like heaven, not prison.
Sincerely,
Someone with a vagina.
Hey “Die in a Fire”
Being -raped- sounds like heaven to you? If you really are a lesbian, your a shitty one. Way to set the cause back by sexualizing what even remedial feminists know is an act of power, not sex.
Yo dude you’re very lenient when it comes for fuck-ups… Eh buddy? I noticed that. Jews are not usually like that, I think Im starting to like you guys.
hey “oy gavalt”
Take it easy bro. It’s just shop talk. No need for all the ivy league.
This were teh lulz
The only way that kid could have died in 1″ of water was if he committed suicide. Therefore, the mother is not guilty.
Lets all agree that facebook indeed takes your soul away in some way or the other. The really really cool people are not on it.
it’s THE facebook
Did you read about the hick in the Facebook story? Turns out looks like she mighta beat the livin’ shit outta the kid before he drowned…
Dear “Oy gavalt”
I think Camille Paglia would agree with me, not you… but then again, who am I to say she is the only voice of feminism? Also, I didn’t mention rape… the author of the article did so if you’re that desperate to chastise someone over some sort of poor wording/joke, take it up with Mr. Leo. Hope your sophomore year of Women’s Studies goes better than this one!
Throw the book at this cow if she was trolling on Facebook. But she would be one bitchin’ mom if her kid went belly up while she was cracking on some skank’s outfit on “Street Boners”. FUCKIN AY!!!!!!
who the fuck still has a facebook account anyway?
Anonymous, pleez. You know you do.
This was entertaining. Very little on this website still is.
10 minutes is actually a pretty long time to leave a kid in the tub. Two minutes, maybe. It’s not “just 10 minutes”, it’s “10 minutes!”.
Ben Leo for President 2012
what a dumb cunt indeed.
Ben’s right, accidental bath tub drowning isn’t a new thing that’s been brought on by the ills of social networking, no matter how the local news tags it into scarring your ass into sitting through their advertiser’s ads to see this story. Roughly once a decade there’s been a news story, long before this, that appears about a child drowning in the tub in less than an inch of water because a mother had a moment of absent minded distraction that haunts her forever.
This was good. Welcome back to my good graces, Benjamin Leo.
Pretty good. And Brad Renfro, you were pretty good in The Client, sorry about the OD. This is the first time I’ve ever been considered “really really cool.” My friends make fun of me b/c I think Facebook is a gov’t conspiracy.
The hick is ugly so yeah, therefore more guilty.
I hope she dies. Probably on welfare too. Fat slut. Probably has the babies for the welfare checks.