In a previous post I detailed my decade-long one-way Internet pseudo-relationship with “Jared,” a head-injury survivor who feels a kinship with me because he believes I suffer from a head injury.

Yesterday he emailed me again. The subject header was “So I get the point,” and Jared proceeded to illustrate exactly how much he gets the point. I’m posting his missives for no other reason than the fact that I find them entertaining, and since I don’t watch TV, I require occasional entertainment. Since he claims his parents are millionaires, I’m faced with an ethical dilemma: Should I fuck him in the ass and collect?

The email:

You don’t want me on your internet board (which I read every day…)

I have a head-injury too, and I’ve contacted you in previous years…

MY PARENTS ARE REALLY MILLIONAIRES !!

And I’m an English Major with a Conc. in Writing at my local college

Plus I have my own apartment now and every month I go out to lunch with my
Minister (like today…)

MY PARENTS ARE MILLIONAIRES !!!
and I ordered your book once, but I never received it !!!
Should I order it again ???

—JIM GOAD

Related posts:

1. THE INTERNET: A SOCIAL-NETWORKING TOOL FOR MEN WITH HEAD INJURIES
2. TWENTY GUNS TO MY HEAD
3. MAN GETS HIS HEAD CUT OFF FOR FALLING ASLEEP ON BUS IN CANADA
4. TV CARNAGE: GIVE HEAD RESPONSIBLY
5. JOHN GOODMAN CONVERTS HEAD TO NUMBER 8