As you’re already aware, Checking in on Foursquare is an activity designed for men who have no balls or penis.
Like the rest of us, you’re probably disturbed by Foursquare’s increasing popularity. The real question, however, is this: What are you prepared to DO about it?
The gentlemen in the video above have the right idea, but can’t we come up with something better?
Each prank below has the same foundation:
a. Go to http://search.twitter.com and search for 4sq.com for Foursquare check-ins.
b. Call the establishment that’s been checked-into and have the Foursquare user paged over the intercom system.
If the following activities are not illegal in your area, we at Street Carnage strongly recommend you perform, film, and send us videos of the following acts:
1. Select a check-in where you can easily determine the race or ethnicity of the Foursquare user (e.g JoshGoldstein420, KadeshaAtkins187, or HantongLi)
When you call the establishment to page the user, inform the customer that you’re the manager of the store, and that you gently want to suggest that they shop elsewhere because of their race. Inform them that you’ve been watching them via the in-store camera, you don’t like the look of them, and in general you’d prefer that your establishment not be patronized by members of their race.
2. Look for check-ins from any fast food or Denny’s-style chain restaurant, and page a user who is fat. If the user has a picture so you can be sure they’re fat, so much the better.
Tell them that you’re the producer of a Dr. Phil-type show, and that you can tell they have a serious problem with weight and food addiction. Ask if they want to appear on your show.
Bonus points:
Get real contact information and start an email dialog with the customer. Make it last for weeks discussing the fat-gut food-addiction segment.
God Mode:
Send us pictures of them standing in Times Square with luggage, waiting to meet Dr. Phil.
3. Tell the customer that he’s won a shopping spree sweepstakes, and that he needs to act naturally, but that he has SEVEN minutes to pack his Walmart cart with as many items he can fit; he’ll receive ALL these items for free, but again, he only has SEVEN minutes from when he hangs up the phone.
Instruct him to take his cart to the checkout line and tell the cashier the manager’s name and mention this, the hot 97 seven-minute shopping-spree sweepstakes.
Asks him if he has any questions and GO!
Bonus points:
Call in advance and get the manager on duty’s real name.
4. ?????
5. Profit
Got even better ideas? Let us know in the comments.
Good luck!
Follow TheBenWord on Twitter.
legendary
Milk Milk! Lemonade! Round the back swears Chocolates made!
I will never foursquare
“4. ?????
5. Profit”
Fuck you.
Nip, your diaper is leaking.
if anyone does the things this guy suggests they are anuses
Are you a sociopath?
Almost pissed my pants reading this. More like this please, less women.
nip nails it. these aren’t even imaginative.
Disappoint
If they’re not imaginative Chester why don’t you post one that is like my son invited you to do
what the fuck is foursqueer
amazing
Picture is great