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People always want something for nothin’, and the uncreative creative types who cruise SC sometimes see us as nothing more than a Hipster Craigslist whereby independent (read: shitty) musicians can pimp their thoughtful (read: unmarketable) music for free without expecting to be mocked.
We’d tell you not to give up your day jobs, but you probably don’t even have day jobs.
People always want something for nothin’, and the uncreative creative types who cruise SC sometimes see us as nothing more than a Hipster Craigslist whereby independent (read: shitty) musicians can pimp their thoughtful (read: unmarketable) music for free without expecting to be mocked.
Here are some actual lines from real press releases we’ve received over the past few weeks. These literary atrocities are usually written with such a thick sheen of PR bullshit, the inexperienced among us may be unable to decipher their true meaning. That’s where we come in.
O’Brother is quickly becoming known for their powerful and dynamic rock sound both recorded and live.
Translation: O’Brother is quickly becoming unknown.
Vocalist, guitarist and keyboardist Keith Goodwin said the album was inspired by “that longing for home that happens when you’re away all the time.”
Translation: Vocalist, guitarist, and keyboardist Keith Goodwin’s parents finally kicked him out of the basement.
DJ Bonics dropped in to talk about meeting Wiz Khalifa, his come up as a DJ, the heart attack he had a year ago, touring with Snoop, and mixing skills!
Translation: Our roster’s a little weak. That’s why we have rappers who’ve had heart attacks.
In light of the citys gloomy colors and winter vibes, this New York based artist brightens up a ancient loft in Soho with crazy colors and murals. This same building is being torn down and turned into a bed n breakfast, which will carry the art on the walls forever.
Translation: This “artist” couldn’t even paint a studio apartment if you paid him.
‘Breaking A Heart’ is the newest track released from the duo, and sees them finding hazy comfort at a more disco-orientated pace. Downtempo percussion dances with a surreptitious ensemble of keys, before the chorus brings a ghoulish, Wild Beasts-esque shift in histrionics, proving that Jacob and Franzen are as astute pop craftsmen as ‘Avenue’ had made them out to be.
Translation: Jacob and Franzen will never have a career in music.
Downer.
Press release are the worst. Unless they’re so shit they actually come full circle and are kinda awesome. Yes?
I get the feeling that the people who write press releases once had jobs writing sitcoms for the Disney Channel.
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Is my screen name supposed to be funny?
DJ Bonics looks like he smells of burritos and Vicks:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q-Gbs4qxgw
The secret to press releases is the secret to everything, just be funny. If you talk seriously (in the third person) about how revolutionary and amazing you are, it’s a snooze. If you make legitimately funny jokes, nobody will ask if your guitars are “searing” or if you “wail like a wild banshee”. All people (the ones you might send a press release to at least) really care about is if you’ll be fun to hang out with or if someone in the group is fuckable.
just got this one in
“Almost Half Of Britain’s Dogs Can Expect A Special Christmas Lunch”