The first thing you should know about me is that I don’t eat meat.
The first thing you should know about me is that I don’t eat meat.
If you eat meat, well, I guess that’s your choice. That is, I guess it’s your choice if you want to be another evil cog in the global industrial corporate death machine that stun-guns innocent farting cows and couldn’t really give a fuck about the feelings of your average cornish hen.
If you want to eat meat, well, don’t count on me to visit you in the hospital when your colon melts into a sopping sewage pile of bleeding tumors and impacted fecal boulders. Don’t ask for my sympathy as you writhe and wither and die as the souls of 100 trillion slaughtered animals laugh at you.
Go ahead—EAT your fucking meat! Go ahead, then die a painful death and go to hell and burn eternally as billions of angelic lambs break-dance atop your skull. Gorge your fat jowls on your McDeathburgers and then get banished to a cold, dark hole in space where you’re forced to listen to the sound of geese being murdered for eternity.
I will laugh at your suffering and blame it all on you.
Because I warned you.
The second thing you should know about me is the reason I don’t eat meat: I’m compassionate.
It’s not as if my personality is so odious, people start gobbling Quarter Pounders just to spite me.
—LACTO-OVO-VEGETARIAN LINUS
I met a dr who practices on the upper east side of NY and he said vitamin D12 deficiencies are linked to veganism and mental illness. He said he’s seen it in his patients. Rich ladies who do it for fashion slowly losing their minds.
Everyone dies eventually.
D12? Good one, Dr. Science!
shots fired @ vegan jules
If you’re an ovo-lacto-vegetarian, you have no business acting as though you are more moral than meat eaters. If you were vegan, you could.
I could be missing the point here, what with his fancy talking and all. But what I see is a pseudo militant newb veggie diatribe written by an advocate of animal enslavement and murder (or “lacto-ovo vegetarian”).
wtffffffffff
Linus… Your sheet is wrinkled…
EVERY veggy I’ve met have been weaklings.
The cowardly instinct for embittered revenge postponed til the afterlife isn’t confined to Christians.
“Evolutionarily speaking, if we weren’t meant to kill animals and harvest their meat…we probably wouldn’t have continued to do so after the first hundred years.” – some dude
Tell me what to eat again and I will “compassionately” stomp the life out of you with my cow hide boots.
Well the only truly moral eating system belongs to the ‘fruitarians’, who only eat what grows on a plant and then falls off of its own accord. They are unwilling to kill the plant that produces said fruit. But if you really think about it, even then you are biting into and consuming an innocent fruit/vegetable that only wanted to grow, fall to the earth, and peacefully decompose without fear of being eaten. Therefore, one must do as certain yogis have done, and train oneself to survive on air, sunlight, and the pure waters of a rushing stream.
First Law of the Universe: EVERYBODY HUNGRAY
see comments under nutria
so you’re a self important, chrisitan, vegetarian? i think that might be the worst combo in a human being.
i eat meat because i respect nature and nature gave me teeth for meat eating. how stupid are you? LOOK IN YOUR MOUTH!
Hey, check out my tumblr. I post semi-retarded gore photos and links to fully retarded metal videos. It’s cool and stuff. Also, lots of links to pictures of naked women who’d never fuck me even if I paid them. I’m a highly talented individual.
I’ve never actually met one of these self-righteous vegetarians. All the veggies I know shut the fuck up about it. I guess this article works if you’re feeling insecure and need a pat on the back for um, eating meat. Go you!
If this is meant to be an un-satirical piece: It’s shit.
If this is meant to be satirical piece: It’s shit.
Yeah, you don’t eat it, but I bet you beat it.
Nullify the vegetarian moral crusade.
For every animal you don’t eat, I’m going to eat three.
http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=sponsor
hey gavin, its been great, ive read some really funny and insightful things here, but these past couple of pieces that jules has let through really make me think its time to move on. uh, its not you, its me i guess?
I’m gonna pretend that Linus is real and remind him that sucking a dick counts as eating meat.
Oh and Razzle is kinda right, there’s nothing natural about any diet that requires 10-30 supplements, more than twice a day to replace nutrients you’re no longer getting from an animal protein source. The point is to eat a balanced diet, where protein isn’t the largest portion of it.
Sarcasm like this won’t change anyone’s minds. Horribly written and too condescending for anyone to actually consider changing their ways. What a waste of everyone’s time!
People like this pompous twat give veggies a bad name. I’m veggie, well I kinda ‘borrow’ meat every now and then if you know what I mean.I don’t give a fuck what other people choose to eat. Anyway, so you’re lacto/ovo? You calf murdering, chicken torturing bastard.Shame on you Mr. Halfway House.
hahaha. This was well funny. I’ve never heard it put like that.
The people on this site aren’t ready.
@ Nick Manning. I move on periodically as well, but I’m stuck out in suburbia with nothing better to do while I eat my meals than come on this site. It’s easy to get over Gavin when you have a good life. But when it’s a bit dull, you’ll be back.
And don’t worry, Gavin’s caving too. He probably won’t go full over again, but he just might give up all this republican nonsense (they don’t like him talking about Dov Charney), and he just might go veg again. He’s got a brain. Just not using it right lately. And I can’t say I really have either, but no one’s perfect.
How does this site work? Do you have to wait until the ad contracts run out or something before you shut it off?
guh SHUT UP
Anyone who thought this was written by an actual vegetarian suffers from extreme, can’t-even-wipe-yourself mental retardation.
inability to sense sarcasm has been shown to be an early sign of dementia/alzheimers.
Typical vegan. Bragging about not eating meat, and talking shit about those who do.
Not sure what veganism does for the heart or intestines, but it definitely damages one’s mental health.
This post completely transformed my worldview.
You’re all a bunch of regressive twats. Turn a blind eye if you have such a problem with it. It’s the leading cause of global warming and completely fucked up from a moral stand point. Yeah “Blah blah, but he eats eggs” well they don’t fucking de-beak egg laying hens. You can’t really argue that eating meat isn’t wrong just because he’s being all militant. If you want to eat meat, go ahead, just never ever bitch about being fat or global warming.
I’m fat and it feels like the world is getting warmer.
Whatever should I do?
Since this whole thing has devolved into a discussion about global warming (and really, what discussion doesn’t these days when one of the parties involved is someone whose idea of being poor means having to settle for Bud Light), I’d like to suggest that the people who stringently believe that humans are the cancer upon the Earth, truly dedicate themselves to their premise and kill themselves.
Also, vegans are into bestiality.
Gavin link bait. More pix of 1627/28 please, less polemics.
Everyone has an opinion on meat. How interesting.
There may be no moral justification for consuming meat…but it’s delicious.
wow i’m ugly as fuck.
I find it horribly disconcerting that whilst any is allowed to kill animals it frowned upon and in many places illegal, to fuck them. Double standards suck
One can eat a perfectly healthy diet including some lean meat as long as one also eats a good portion of fruit, plenty of vegetables, and some good starch. If you decide on no meat then you need a B12 too. A good amount of water is also important.
Don’t be such an ass, humans evolved to eat meat.
^^^ Don’t be such a gullible idiot. This was an obvious parody of self-righteous vegetarians. Look at the last line, you fucking tard.
^^^ hate. “gawd, isn’t it OBVIOUS!!” fucking shut up you douche.
And as usual the comment section” s conversation goes nowhere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFvYyzi5HYU
heres the maid killing a mouse. thanks PETA!!!!
the clue is in my name
You act like a carnivore with my money, son.
The human brain would not have developed without eating animal protein. Our ancestors hunted and gathered because it was instinctual to do so. It’s thanks to them why we are so evolved now.
^^ actually it was because they discovered magic mushrooms.
people still trying to give a fuck about global warming? what is this 2009?
Well, being as I’m an athlete(doing the NYC Ironman this year at age 50), and a musician who still preforms at the level i did back in 1981, I haven’t eaten meat for over 30+ years, I’m in touch with top Nutritionists and experts in the field, I’m writing my second book on meat, disease and destruction of the planet, i guess you could say my statements here come backed up by fax, not speculation. First off, a plant-based diet done properly is hundreds of times more nutritious than your standard American diet. So the peeps who keep talking about vitamin deficiencies need to get their shit straight. Second, the meat, fish, dairy and egg industries are hands down some of the biggest polluters of the planet and the amount of resources needed to produce even a single pound of beef is astronomical. And third, considering some of you may be ‘real’ punks on this page, not ‘posers’, but mother fuckers who actually are against the system, follow the money, these corporations are fucking evil. The GMO (genetically modified organisms)companies like Monsanto are in bed with Big Pharma, the pesticide companies and the meat industries to make you sick then sell you the meds. It ain’t about being superior cuz youre vegan (I admit some vegans have douche-bag attitudes) but it is a superior diet for you, the animals and the environment. Peace jj
….And that’s why they call it the world peace diet.