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Finally someone’s tellin’ it like it is: Two Muslims travel 13,000 miles across America and find an embracing nation.
Anyone remember this classic Eddie Murphy bit from Delirious? He’s talking about how racism ain’t what it used to be, about how he had to TRY to find racism in 1982. He went to Texas LOOKIN’ for racism, so on-edge that when a white bellhop politely asked, “Excuse me sir, is this your bag?” He broke with:
YEAH, THAT’S MY FUCKIN BAG! WHY, MUTHAFUCKA? A BLACK MAN CAN’T HAVE A SUITCASE?!?!
See, Eddie expected everyone to act all racist, but in reality, no one did jack shit.
Goddamn if that doesn’t still ring true: Institutional racism may be alive and while it’s the media’s job to amplify the most racist voices in the nation, in REAL life, most black and white people are basically nice to each other.
Right?
Well good for them, but as America is well into the 21st century, it’s old news that we’ve got ourselves some new niggers. Black people, still secretly thought to be loud, lazy and ungrateful by millions of white people, cannot hold a marginalized candle to the suffering of hundreds of thousands of Muslim Americans who are forced to live under the presumption of–
Whoa, not so fast:
Along comes 30 Mosques / 30 States, a heroic project undertaken by two extremely American Muslims. Their goal: to drive around the country showing Muslims and non just how much tolerance actually exists in the real America.
Their Ramadan road trip proves it: They encountered an unlikely love-fest, whether it was the affection of a Confederate gun-store owner and a white man who helped them tow their car when it broke down in Montana.
Shit, maybe Eddie Murphy’s Last Theorem holds true for Muslims too!
Not so fast.
Pay careful attention to these guys’ appearance: They look and sound more American than Gavin McInnes, let alone Mohamed Atta.
These guys are undoubtedly heroes. They are perhaps the first WILL SMITHS of Islam — and remember, it was only through Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey and especially Doctor Huxtable that electing an Obama was ever possible.
White people need non-scary representatives of an assimilating race in order to slowly approve the group’s acceptance into the fold.
These guys are heroes, but don’t kid yourself that there’s not still a ton of hatred for Muslims out there:
If they had driven around dressed like Cat Stevens and sounded like Carbash the Egyptian Magician, you can bet your ass they would have run into a lot more trouble.
The lesson from their trip is this:
As long as you look heterosexual and American, then regardless of race or religion, you can go anywhere in this country and be fairly warmly welcomed.
But 12 hijab-clad women at a Rodeo bar?
Chassids changing a tire on a dirt road in Missssippi?
And the hetero aspect should go without saying: Their experiment would never work with 30 Cocks in 30 States. In 2010 in the American South, the Gays would still get their asses beat.
Free viral project for aspiring queer activist: Design and build “30 Cocks in 30 States” website and model after “30 Mosques / 30 States.” Theme is to expose hypocrisy of homophobic Muslim community and Deep American South. Must credit Street Carnage.
i win again
I’d rather see a kick ass arab comedy with arab guido guys. the people want minstrelsy not academia
Fucking brilliant. Now compare this post to Paul K’s wannabe Irvine Welsh child smegma.
Even looking like they look by the by, I’m surprised these boys didn’t get their asses plugged.
these guys probably are more american than gavin
Any of you kids know a cop, fireman, or paramedic in a major city? If so, you know damn well that each one of these fine public servants – who see things far worse than you ever will while pedaling your fixie through the projects to take pictures with your iphone – have a whole set of codewords for racial classifications. Here in Chicago they use ambiguous gems like “Will” or “Shithead” instead of “nigger,” though the tone and application is entirely the same.
Great call about me and Will Smith. Real Talk. I’m flying this whole audience to HAWAII!!
“These guys are undoubtedly heroes. They are perhaps the first WILL SMITHS of Islam — and remember, it was only through Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey and especially Doctor Huxtable that electing an Obama was ever possible.”
Nigga, what?! Nobody likes Osama Bin Hussein or Will Smith anymore because Barack lied to us about Mope and Strange and Will Smith is just a weird Scientologist. I want Bush back because he was funny like Aziz Ansari and Blognigger (the stand-up comics pictured above like they’re going to White Castle).
Quit frontin’, Benjamin. Quit Frontin’ or I’m gonna smack you upside your vape bag. Everybody in America prefers ScaryBlacks to half-breeds. Just ask Ashley Todd and Mike Tyson.
Love the Carbash reference.
Eddie Murphy is the greatest there ever was. I should watch that whole routine again.
Ben, good post but you were right the first time. It really is that black and white, not just for people who look american. If you drive around America, no matter what color you are, people will for the most part treat you right. sure there are exceptions but not nearly so much as what the media and al sharpton would have us believe.
The recent muslim bashing stuff is only one of a hundred myths. Check out “Upski” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Upski_Wimsatt who actually walked accross every ghetto in america with no shoes on in the middle of the night and never ran into trouble.
So much for a white boy getting their ass kicked if they walked through a black neighborhood at night. Its all hysteria.
You obviously harbor a New York Jew’s insanely overwrought prejudices toward the South.
Atlanta recently nudged past SF for gayest city in America:
http://www.redandblack.com/2010/01/28/atlanta-gayest-city-athens-also-gay-friendly/
@ Ishan, ‘Upski’ didnt run into any trouble because there is no fucking way anyone would approach a dude walking through the ghetto in the middle of the night with NO SHOES! cause “nigga must be crazy”. It’s a flawed experiment.
Actually just yesterday, some thug literally walked out of the bushes barefoot to ask me for a lighter. He was totally harmless and it was a really nice day, but still, the ‘no shoes’ thing made it clear this guy was either out of his fucking mind or tripping balls on some heavy shit.
I’m down with feeling the sand between my toes, but in an urban environment no shoes is a red flag (see meth-heads).
Fuck this, these guys ain’t shit. They had to lie to a cop about being against the ground zero mosque. That right there totally cancels out any acceptance they got. White people love us my dick
@Homeless better red than dead
fake blognigger is always very good but paul k is young money…
I’m not really Italian, I’m playing Dustin Hoffman playing an Italian. But I do know a little about Sacco and Vanzetti.
No dogs or Irishmen either, btw.
The best thing about western mores is that you are welcomed and encouraged to throw off the primitive, intimately oppressive mantle of religious, family, and, in cities, even gender identification(!) altogether, and thus become yet one more rootless ‘free’ existentialist, entirely dependent upon industrial civilization and its ecocidal taskmasters.
that fuckin puma ad is driving me nuts
gavin mcinnes is canadian….
The website idea would work and work big.
^^With auditions for emcee a la “Idol”
Where the fuck did everyone go? I remember when this website ruled.
^^^
Everyone left because Gayvin got fat and old and retired upstate and is focussing his sunsetting energies on taking pictures of owl pellets.
LEO! You know you can do better. Create new persona stat, sincere self not working.
Just goes to show that “racism” has nothing to do with the color on the skin. If you act “right” or look “American,” you are accepted with zeal. the most black-fearing “racists” in the country still love them some Huxtables; and not just for entertainment – they would like to have Bill and Claire over for meatloaf.
oj is right, ty is a false eccentric, bitchmade can’t read, seconded is a child, and Kennedy is prettty prettttay good
heck out this video on YouTube:
ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZHnfFLZ9XU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
his is a well done and thoughtful piece put together by a devout Muslim who is also an American. It has four parts and you really owe to yourself to watch all of it. Beautiful.