You probably don’t know this because you’re a filthy bigoted urban supremacist, but the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee is the most-visited of all America’s nationally designated scenic playgrounds.
The discriminating summer vacationer can find many accommodations of varying quality and pricing in the area:
The Smoky Mountains fairly throb and vibrate and pulsate and scream until their lungs explode with the hopes, visions, dreams, and high-priced knickknacks of this great nation and all of the people and animals therein.
Speaking of animals, I spotted this at Dollywood and wanted to send a shout-out to Vegan Jules:
And while still on the animal tip but slyly segueing into the souvenir theme, I spotted numerous glistening examples of what our Norwegian correspondent Lasse has christened Wolphinjun art. Although the first specimen technically features neither wolves, dolphins, nor Injuns, I think it captures the aesthetic sensibility nonetheless:
Moving up the evolutionary ladder from animals to humans, one can purchase tchotchkes depicting the area’s famous and oft-maligned “hillbillies”…
…as well as the South’s historically abused and oft-misunderstood “black people”…
…and, not to be outdone, the noble indigenous folk known generally as “Injuns” but more specifically as “Cherokee”:
The Smoky Mountains offer souvenirs for everyone, no matter where you might find yourself on the food chain!
—JIM GOAD
That hog looks pretty fucking good. But that may be the possessed Cherokee doll talking.
HEY GOAD