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Around 6 or 7 months ago, I read this story about a female model who walked into an airplane propeller after a nighttime flight on a tiny aircraft to look at Christmas lights.
Her face got chewed up by the still-spinning propellers. Her skull was fractured. She lost an eyeball and one of her hands. She’s a pretty girl, too. I believe she was a popular fashion blogger or some shit—that and a model. This all happened in Dallas back in December of last year. The plane landed, it was super dark and she accidentally walked straight into the fucking propeller (she was probably too busy eyeballing her iPhone to pay attention.) But I’m not here to make fun of her. Maybe it’s just a coincidence she’s a blonde model, because let’s be honest: Smart people don’t walk into airplane propellers. It’s the first thought in a person’s brain when exiting a tiny aircraft. Where’s that fucking propeller?!
The accident turned her into a deformed monster missing not only one of her eyeballs, but an entire hand to go with it. The good news is that she’s insanely religious and through the power of God, she’s made peace with herself.
Hallelujah.
The point is today I stumble across a little video of her being interviewed on the Today show, she has a glass eye now (her family was able to sue for $2 million) and besides the fake plastic armpiece, she looks kind of hot.
Not bad, right? She had her hair straightened, practiced staring in the exact same direction as her glass eye, and let the world see her plastic hand.
That takes balls, especially from a woman. She should have gone with a lighter shade of plastic in order to match her own skin tones. I only wish she would have gone with a hook. Or at least tattoo that plastic hand into some gangster-ass shit. Anything other than trying to remain normal. I know what that feels like and it only kills you in the end.
But that’s not the point.
I’m watching this interview and start wanting to know more about this person. I look her up on Twitter where she describes herself as, “Editor-in-Chief of LoLoMagazine. Health nut. Smitten w/ style, organic anything, spontaneity, fashion, culture, travel, writing. Ephesians 3:14-21.”
That last part is a Bible prayer for spiritual strength. I didn’t bother looking up the magazine. What I did find were the details of her lawsuit, and people are pissed. They want to know why she has a new Lexus and $2,500 Chanel bags after asking the public to donate their money in order to cover her medical bills when she got this huge cash settlement. The lawsuit breaks down like so:
The pilot leaned out of his seat and waved for her not to walk into the propeller, but she wasn’t paying attention (iPhone.) The insurance company offered to give her the max amount for passenger coverage ($200,000), but she argued she was no longer a passenger after stepping foot on the ground and it was now the pilot’s fault that she walked into the propeller. At that point she was able to sue for however much she wished. (She wished for $2 million.)
The people who donated their own money are now scratching their heads thinking, “Why did I donate my money when she has her own?” This all happened very quickly. The lawsuit was filed immediately after the accident and Lauren was soon seen taking a skiing trip to Colorado. On top of the lawsuit, she was also offered a book deal that will make many gold bricks because it’s a story about something bad happening to a white woman. If Lauren Scruggs was named Maria Espinoza, there would be no book deal because who the hell would read it? It’s sucks, but it’s true. There’s even a term for it: missing white woman syndrome.
Luckily for Lauren, her skin is the right color for sympathy. But that sympathy soon disappeared and the people who donated their money to cover a millionaire’s medical expenses can’t help but give her the finger. The woman walked straight into a parked airplane’s active propeller. There’s no victim of a crime here; no one was molested, beaten, or threatened with violence. A model wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings and walked straight into the ultimate cheese grater. Thankfully she didn’t die and now having to deal with some serious emotional uphills, but one thing she has going for herself is the settlement/book deal. Even before the accident, her family doesn’t exactly fit the profile of people needing public assistance financially.
Dinner night.
Here she is chilling out in Paris in a fur coat.
New York City for Fashion Week.
Discussing boys with Chloe Sevigny.
Hanging out with that queer-mo from whatever television show.
Dear old Dad.
The airplane that changed her life forever. What possessed her to exit the plane and then walk toward the front is a mystery upon which she remains silent, but one cannot blame her. Nobody wants to admit to doing anything so foolish.
This is the new Lauren. What seems to be a perfect white family with friends who own airplanes is now having to deal with the fact their prized daughter was nearly split in half by an airplane propeller’s blade.
Please click on the following link if you would like to donate money to Lauren. You can chose from $300, $175, $70 or lastly, whatever you can afford.
—JESSE ANDREW
amazing.
She looks hottest in the very last photo.
i could afford to smack the dick right out of her mouth
If she was a hot enough black (or hispanic) chick she would skip that other stuff (book deals) and parlay it into a reality show (appearance on George Lopez) and then do infomercials. It’s lazy to draw race (hurr white priv-a-lage!!!) into this. Don’t hate the player hate the game.
didn’t really read the whole article, but why would you wanto donate money to her when she won a $2 million dollar lawsuit. and why would you post that shit on here
If what you say is true, I agree with everything but her skin being the right color for sympathy. White people have more sympathy for “those of color” than any other group of people on the planet. This bitch is dumb though, almost as dumb as white guilt.
The next guy she goes out with is gonna have to do her doggystyle with her face 1 inch away from a fan in order to get her to orgasm.
^^^^^^^ hahahahhahahaha true true
I’d skull bang it
“Dear old Sugar Daddy.”
^^^^^
This feels like a more appropriate caption.
Dummy.
now, how did she sue THEM for walking into the dam propeller? That’s what the fuck is WRONG with shit nowadays. You can fuck up and then sue someone for your having fucked up….and WIN.
I like her old pre-propeller hair better
Gripper Claw would have been WAYYYY more bad ass