If there is one universal truth nobody contends, it’s that beautiful people are dumb. They don’t need to study or read because everything gets handed to them on a silver platter. While the fat chicks are at home learning to be funny and the nerds are reading science textbooks …
If there is one universal truth nobody contends, it’s that beautiful people are dumb. They don’t need to study or read because everything gets handed to them on a silver platter. While the fat chicks are at home learning to be funny and the nerds are reading science textbooks learning to be smart, the beautiful people are out partying because beautiful people are invited to everything.
The problem with that is the notion that people are driven to books and humor and other non-aesthetic pursuits because of their lack of aesthetic appeal. If you’re not funny you can’t learn to become funny when you put on some weight. Nerds like science because they were born smart, not because they’re sitting in a room full of smart books with nothing better to do. People read because they’re interested. Is someone constantly saying, “Hey, you’re gorgeous, stop being curious about the world and come to this soiree”? No. There aren’t enough soirees in the day. So why are pretty girls (and men, beeteedubs — this used to be a strictly female phenomenon, but now that men can be models, they’re considered dumb too) — rather, why are blondes so stupid?
Here’s the deal: They aren’t. We just remember when they are because we expect more out of them. We’ve seen Humphrey Bogart and Marilyn Monroe and every movie star since be dynamic on screen so when an attractive person doesn’t dazzle us, we register our disappointment as a big, pissed off “idiot” in our brains forever. Everyone is pretty much dumb. If you were to close your eyes and randomly pick an American from any state in the union, you would be shocked at how dumb they are. Beautiful people reflect this statistic. They have an average IQ of about 100. You just register their stupidity more than you register the zit-faced teenager who packs your groceries or the old lady who sits next to you on the bus. Also, it doesn’t help that our inherent jealousy gets a real kick out of seeing them fail. That really drives it into the memory banks.
And another thing, most of your friends and the people around you are there because you feel you have something in common with them. When you have a beautiful person in your life it’s usually because you want to have sex with them and it’s usually only because they are particularly attractive. When this stranger is put up next to your close friends, he or she pales in comparison. The two hottest girls I ever dated (besides my wife, of course) were also the dumbest. I dated them almost solely based on my friends’ glaring approval. We were incompatible. What did I think was going to happen?
Now, why blondes? Well, for some reason I can’t quite figure out; the Northern European look is synonymous with the world’s idea of beautiful. “Britney Spears” is still the most googled term on the entire Internet. So, for now at least, “blonde” is the same as saying “beautiful woman” and I just explained why we think beautiful people are dumb. Once again, nature trumps nurture.
This is my theory and I’m sticking to it.
you’re an idiot. but that doesn’t make you one of the world’s most beautiful people,either. shows us some pics of your wife. that is all.
First?
Damnit
As a Jew I can tell you who made all that shit up about blonds and spread it through the media, but I won’t say it because I don’t want to publicly expose my own people. Hint: It has something to do with something that happened in WW II.
i 2nd the pics of wife proposal
Let’s not forget that northern Europeans had the most efficient, crime-free, livable countries in the world until…nevermind.
I want to see a pic of Gavin with oiled up legs and pulling down panties.
Britney Spears is trailer trash genetics and not actually blonde, dammit.
This is why allopecia is beautiful.
haha. Vanessa’s dumb, ugly Jew.
possessive.
It makes sense. Besides isn’t it ALWAYS the non-pretty people calling the pretty blondes/non-blondes dumb? Haters.
Britney Spears isn’t even a natural blond. Not blond like in that picture, anyway. Yes, mousy-browns can be idiots, too.
I like butt holes!
the media myth is over. boring is what they are.
caption
hi, i’m stupid and boring want to see my snatch. see it’s smart it makes me money
@ dolphin sex
you sank my battleship! and you didn’t even need an indefinite article to do it.
the only thing dumber than a blonde is gavin. there are plenty of beautiful people who aren’t dumb, dippee doo, they just know how to play stoopid extremely well. acting the hapless victim to your big ole thunder brains, as it were. and that’s pretty darn smaht, considering the loot collected whilst aping the common dullard.
…couldn’t even finish reading this, BORING!
Don’t worry, Gavin. I think you’re smart and pretty.
WIFE WIFE WIFE
i hope you were kidding
When defining talent as something you’re born with, can’t really do much about, and is generally considered a plus… then being beautiful is a talent, and being intelligent is a talent, and being funny is a talent. Granted, you can train, modify your body, study, etc, etc, but a large part is still beyond our influence. And it is simply statistically unlikely that multiple talents are stacked up together.
This is why I’m suspicious of people like Jennifer Lopez… “oh, you happen to be pretty, /and/ you can sing, /and/ you can act? Yeah, right, more likely my dick is dazzled by your booty and the rest is all pretend.”
And another thing: notice how blonde women are offended when you say blondes are dumb? Yet when they do something stupid, they’ll happily hide behind their hair colour and say: “Oh, yeah, I just had a blonde moment.”
well, if you care to look at academic studies then you may read that people actually attribute positive traits to people that they deem attractive (read: barak obama). also, physically attractive folks WILL get invited to more “fun” things which will make them disregard learning. but wait, hey, people who are confident in their smarts will also be more attractive overall despite their looks (this can even be found in the clothes that they wear). face
my gf is a real blond (sexy as shit!) and she is an attorney. but hey, that’s just me…
pic of gavin’s wifey in wigger blog:
http://cloutonline.com/?q=node/3613
haha. french guy thinks that being an ambulance chaser = smart.
attorney haha!
oh right vanessa, i forgot, you’re a “gorgeous talented jewish writer”… know what? pics or it didn’t happen.
no one said anything about ‘natural’ vs ‘unnatural’ blondes. the whole ‘dumb blonde’ thing is more than likely nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy. or the fact that people expect a blonde to be dumb and so they ultimately deliver. there is nothing inherent in hair colour, unfortunately. but FUCK is brit ever stupid.
Forget who dyes their fucking hair. This isn’t about that. The word “blonde” in this context is interchangeable with “pretty.” And my point is they are not particularly dumb. We just think they are because we remember it better.
13$ for two shirts and two sweaters at the dry cleaner!! Now that’s some intelligent shit! Heeeeeyoooooo!!!
ask raymi. i’m sure that she’ll gladly confirm that i’m “not fugly.”
p.s. does you girlfriend have naturally blond ass pubes? IMHO, there’s nothing hotter than dark brown dingleberries hanging from golden blond ass pubes. it’s all about the contrast.
Maybe the dumb blonde thing came about because only idiots would bleach their hair the same color as all of the other bimbos out there. I’m not buying that whole ‘blondes have more fun’ thing either.
BUT I THOUGHT VANESSA WAS A DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember Vice’s “Not Fit to Print” section? This belongs there.