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I thought of this last night while stoned and dictated it into my phones Voice Memo app. Ahem. Everywhere in the world, pink is considered a girl color and blue is considered a boy color. Why is this? I’ll tell you why.
I thought of this last night while stoned and dictated it into my phones Voice Memo app. Ahem.
Everywhere in the world, pink is considered a girl color and blue is considered a boy color. Why is this? I’ll tell you why: Women instinctually want to appear warm and friendly and good to touch so they can propagate the species. Conversely, men want to appear strong and tough and able to hunt large game. Pink is like warm, healthy skin (for whites, at least) and it also looks like inner mouths and inner pussies (for all races). It’s inviting because it means, “Flushed with blood.”
Wait, that picture with this text is freaking me out. I have to make something clear here. Though children are not sexual beings, their palette of preference comes from generations and generations of learned adult sexual patterns. This is also true with Barbies and ridiculously muscular Action Figures. It’s their instincts that makes them want these strange exaggerations of adult needs — but they do not have adult needs. Okay?
All right, back to work. Blue is the opposite of pink because it means “without blood” and successfully conveys the male is not soft or emotional or even a human being. He’s a rock. The emotional aspect of pink is just as important as the “Warm and inviting” one. Being emotional is a good thing for a mother because you want her to care about her young and snuggle them and stuff. Cold is a good characteristic for a man because good hunters and providers are emotionless. Hunting (especially with a bow) is really difficult and keeping your cool is a big part of making it happen. Hunters will often talk about “Moose Fright” where they simply froze and were unable to launch the bow. That means no food for the family. If a man is cold and emotionless he is more likely to nab his prey and, subsequently, feed his family.
I have based this on 0 research or evidence and pulled it out of my ass but I still believe it to be 100% true.
UPDATE: Here’s the Voice Note. My wife walked in right at the end and heard that last sentence out of context.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
…and I agree.
wait a minute Gavin, is this a blog or…? oh!? alrighty then…
yes 100% true but I always liked green? and I bow hunt with bows I make?
yes but blue was the color of barbarians during roman wars and red was considered noble and when I fart it makes a strange noise.
post the voice memo
and if you click my name, you’ll be able to fuck the president. balls deep.
now, tell me about that pink.
are egocentric, enchanted with things that remind us of ourselves and what we deem makes us most special of all. hence, we tend to like pink because it is the color of our pretty, pretty vaginas – but don’t tell the boys.
moms are the worst of all and they swath their baby darlings in pink as soon as they pop out of their pretty, pretty vaginal canal. conditioning from the crib.
i’m not sure why boys like blue. maybe because it is close to opposite of the girl color of pink, or maybe because girls make their balls that color.
QUOTE – Hunting (especially with a bow) is really difficult and keeping your cool is a big part of making it happen.
You’re fucking retarded, that was a big part of making this article happen. Retard.
that picture is awesome
Inner mouths & inner pussies are both potentially “pink,” “red,” or sorta in between — so why is the difference between them such a big deal? No one thinks of red as the ultra-girly color.
Furthermore, guys’ erect cocks are also pink, & having an erect cock (some of the time, that is, not all the time) is necessary for men to propagate the species. So shouldn’t it be a guy color? I really think you need to work out these details so you can make this theory work.
a hundred years ago, pink was considered masculine, a boy’s color
sorry to break it to everyone, but our culture is 99.9% arbitrary nonsense.
nerd is right – pink was considered a stronger color than a dainty blue, so pink was for boys and blue was for girls. pink was based on red for robes of kings, and blue was based on the color the Virgin Mary wore.
It flipped during WWII, since the military mainly wore blue, and pink lipstick came into fashion.
dirk funk: pink lipstick did not “come into fashion” in WWII, women have been reddening their lips with pigments since the days of Cleopatra. Red/pink lips have always been in fashion to attract a mate: they look flushed and horny and fecund. In no way did this just start less than a hundred years ago.
All that photo pink’s a making me “flush and horny and fecund.”
hunting with a bow is cool. here, in the lacloche mountains there are many cougar sightings. both types. the actual cougars. and then the variety that gavin coined. hahaha!
the reason girls. or ladies, women, like hunters is, we go deep in the bush for extended amounts of time. we totally slay.
You know how some kids are just into green? Like green everything. Always wearing green. Green bedrooms. Even special green dishes and cups. Think of the implications. That is some NEXT LEVEL SHIT.
Here’s a funny story: When my internet gets REALLY bad I know it’s because my roommate is watching porn online and probably has his Janet Jackson out of his pants. How do I know? Because when the internet is a bitch he comes down and resets the router. When there is heavy traffic and the internet dies, he won’t come down. Not even if I unplug the internet. Heh heh heh heh heh Interrupting masturbation = Blue. Cold. Emotionless. Totally fucking manly.
Hey, Gavin didn’t your good buddy David Cross dabble on a similar point when talking about womens lip stick and how it is supposed to resemble an engorged womens labia??????
Leetle girls in Russia much prefer the proud red of Communism, for they are strong. Leetle american children are soft and veak, like this color pink.
“At one point pink was considered more of a boy’s color, (as a
watered-down red, which is a fierce color) and blue was more for
girls. The associate of pink with bold, dramatic red clearly affected
its use for boys. An American newspaper in 1914 advised mothers, “If
you like the color note on the little one’s garments, use pink for the
boy and blue for the girl, if you are a follower of convention.” [The
Sunday Sentinal, March 29, 1914.]
“There has been a great diversity of opinion on the subject, but the
generally accepted rule is pink for the boy and blue for the girl. The
reason is that pink being a more decided and stronger color is more
suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty,
is prettier for the girl.” [Ladies Home Journal, June, 1918]
http://histclo.hispeed.com/gender/color.html – “Gender Specific
Colors”
There’s more, but y’all can shut your stupid faces now.
this was a funny weed rant who CAREEEEEEEES about the historical accuracy you fucking nerds
This makes way too much sense to be true….
Your argument is both “no duh” and “dead wrong.” Marijuana cripples the mind.
To Russians, light blue is a gay color, and goluboi (baby blue) is used as a synonym for fag.
Navy blue is considered to be a separate, non-gay color (they have no word for our “blue”), but if we want a color that society identifies as the color for men, it probably isn’t blue. In fact, it probably isn’t a color at all, but rather white.
White fits the theory above better because it is closer than blue to being something that: “means ‘without blood’ and successfully conveys the male is not soft or emotional or even a human being. A body drained of blood is not blue, but white (or at least more pale than the default hue).
And lets look at the track record for white as a male colour:
Togas -Most male romans were demanded to wear white togas (some with splashes of purple) . Girls who wore togas were considered skanks and were expected to wear colourful stolas instead.
Suits – Do not feel the need to explain this.
Nuba Wrestlers – Just in case there is doubt that this is an isolated western idea. http://www.nationalgalleries.org/media_collection/6/PGP%20280.1.jpg
Gavin – I don’t know if this is typical for how he dresses, but I’ve seen at least a few different pictures featuring Gavin in more or less all white. Coincidence?
btw. A nasty demonstration of the “Flushed with blood” theory is the scene in Schindler’s List ( I think) where women used blood as make up to avoid being sent to the chambers.
Sorry about the “Coincidence?” following the sentence about Gavin. I hate myself upon rereading it.
And yeah, I realize that a single african tribe, documented by a nazi proves very little…
a little research could have gone a long way on this topic. pink is for girls and blue is for boys because back at the start of the 19th century these new things called hospitals had these places called maternity wards. it was a place where the common woman could go and give births to a baby if she didnt have her own cushy country estate and family doctor. charles dickens had bought a shit load of cotton from india for an investment that never panned out and donated his goods to the british government as a tax write-off. part of his scheme was to only buy pink and blue fabric because it was the cheapest. so at these hospitals, a newborn girl was wrapped in a pink blanket and a boy in a blue one, so that babies wouldnt get mixed up. lrn 2 google.
i didnt read any of that. i just like that picture. mmmmmm pink
More theories!
PINK VAJINGA JANGLES + BLUE BALLS!!!
i second pingpong on more theories plz.
way to figure out something colour theorists have been talking about for decades.
….except that until about the 1930s in the usa it was the opposite. Blue was for girls because blue was the color of the virgin’s veil, pink was the baby version of red, an aggressive (male) color
Is there a child in that photo? It’s like when ET was hiding in the closet.
Listening to the recording I half-expected him to say “I saw a slug… crawling along the edge of a razor blade…” ha ha yeah also you’re right except there are a lot of acquired factors ie/ not a lot of babies “choose” to have their bassinet blankies pink or blue, it’s up to the parents. As they grow up it’s impossible to tell how much of it is them naturally choosing a color and how much of it is them trying to please their parents by making “choices” that make their parents happy. (This pretty much never ends for some people… hobbies, choice of university, etc.)
hippy babies have green, red, and yellow all over and their parents make them grow dreadlocks.
anthropology for dummies
this post is so retarded it hurts
Blue isn’t the color of the absence of blood, it’s the color of blood with the absence of oxygen.