This Christmas’ Oops Award goes out to Jimmy who accidentally bought an African American angel for his old-school Copland in-laws. I was stoned when I saw what he bought and laughed so hard, I pood. He kept saying it looked different at Century 21
The flash is deceiving. Rick James would have called this bitch “The Darkness.”
This Christmas’ Oops Award goes out to Jimmy who accidentally bought an African American angel for his old-school Copland in-laws. I was stoned when I saw what he bought and laughed so hard, I pood. He kept saying it looked different at Century 21 where he bought it at the last second for $50 but I ain’t havin’ it.
The best part about this is imaging if they didn’t refuse the angel (they did) and how gay it would look to see an Irish family with a black angel sitting up there like some messiah of white guilt.
Angels aren’t meant to be afrocan.
lamé
well irish are all about equality (except for eastern europeans moving to dublin) so they probably felt that the hangin’ of a black doll in any part was wrong even if it’s at the tippy top.
kudos to them for thinking.
Plus: In the rare occasion that a irish cop my think a irish man is breaking into his on place (Henry louis Gates style) having a black angel might not convince the cop he lives there no matter how many barrels off potatoes and guinness stout sit under tree.
Pretty funny, but why did his name change to Tommy in the middle of the post?
My brother said this sucks
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WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR CHRISTMAS VACATION?
You know what I did? I laughed so fucking hard I threw up in my ass a little bit. You see, my friend Jimmy is a third generation Brooklynite who married a woman whose Irish family has lived here so long, they see their new son-in-law as an immigrant. They trusted Jimmy when he said he could handle getting an angel for their tree and didn’t even get worried when he still didn’t have it on the morning of the 24th. “I got it at Century 21 for $50 and all I remember thinking is, it looks nice,” he said of his purchase. “It was marked down from $90 and I was in a huge hurry so I just grabbed it without really looking at it.” Tommy didn’t take it out of the bag until he got to his wife’s family home which is basically the set for Copland. “When I saw her mom pull it out of the bag I realized something wasn’t right,” Tommy said sheepishly. “It was an African American angel. Something about the lighting at Century 21. It just looks like a nice lady. What did they think I was trying to say?”
When his wife Janet saw the angel, she laughed so fucking hard, she started to worry about oxygen and had to think about 9-11 just to come back down. When she could finally breathe again, she said, “I mean, it’s not like my family is racist or anything but think about it. You see a white family with a black angel on their tree and it looks like their trying to send some kind of message about race and Christmas and shit. It’s too funny.”
The family ended up using a dollar store Frosty the Snowman as an angel and Jimmy will be returning his version to Century 21 today. We considered buying it but $50?
—-
So I’m going to rewrite it.
Learn your history, people
Santa was a black man
OK “fixed.”
this is why my irish catholic family uses a star.
I like the first one better.
first one was better
“messiah of white guilt”
truly fantastic
Maybe that’s the angel of some slave that Thomas Jefferson screwed.
Maybe the angel is tanned from flying too close to the sun.
Maybe we aren’t supposed to understand all of life’s mysteries.
I thought everyone knew by now God is a wise old fat black lady who calls everyone “honey chal”.
First one much better, assuimng that’s the first one there in your comment from 3:37
More of a mulatto. Also, what’s up with the atrocious spelling and syntax? I’m no stickler, but, damn, that was, as I said, atrocious.
granted, pretty funny.
this reminds me of the time my 80+ year old grandmother got me a “mahogany” (the african-american targeted brand of Hallmark) christmas card. i am not black. that is funny. right?
I guess this means Im going to have to work now and write shit for this site. Cheers fuckheads!
pooed not pood
Why are all angels so goddamn unattractive? That angel, nor any Christmas tree angel I have ever seen, would qualify to be a Street Boner. Even with Gavin’s lastwomanonearth standards.
Yes, flicking beans, it is funny.
^^^^ Yeah, that’s funny. This one time I used some cocoa butter.
^Heilarious!