A Chihuahua named Shadow is now but a shadow of its former self.
Robert Edward De Shields: ¡Yo quiero Chihuahua culo!
A Chihuahua named Shadow is now but a shadow of its former self. Its former owner, the meth-addled, wheelchair-bound Robert Edward De Shields, has been convicted of strangling and sexually assaulting the shy, diminutive canine puppy and will spend 10 years in prison, where everyone knows the convicts don’t take too kindly to men who rape underage Chihuahuas. Whereas the standard convict slang for a child molester is “chomo,” De Shields will forever be branded a “Chihuamo.”
The dog, who will undoubtedly hate wheelchair-bound, meth-addicted men for the rest of its life, was found with trauma to its rectum, either from a blunt instrument or De Shields’s dingus. Society, which will now also hate such men—even if they don’t rape Chihuahuas—is likewise irreparably damaged.
Shadow the Chihuahua must now live with the pain forever, as will all of us.