Every time I see a photo of someone with a dopey grin hoisting an alcoholic beverage toward the camera, the message that comes across to me is, “This drink here is what God gave me instead of a personality.”
Sure, you’ll occasionally see some High Times-reading, hemp-peddling maroon posing with a joint hanging out of their maw as if it means something profound, but that’s exactly the point—they look like shmoes, too.
I get it—you drink. I mean, it’s not like anyone else does that or anything. So what’s next? Shooting up for the camera? Sticking out your tongue to show the blotter acid? Posing with a hamburger you’re eating? Showing the world your used condom like it’s a hunting trophy? Flashing your used toilet paper toward the camera to show the world that you’ve wiped your ass?
And why do their facial expressions always seem as if they think they’re doing something clever? “Dude, lookit me! I have a fuckin’ DRINK in my hand! Bet you’ve never seen that, huh? Dude, I’m about to git FUCKED UP, man!!!! Woo-hoo! Woo-HOO! Good times! Warm feelings! Summer nights! I’m partyin’! No, scratch that—I’m par-TAY-in’!!!! I’m-a get fucked up and fuck shit up! Fuck it! HAW! Fuckity fuck da fuck fuck fuck! Lookit my brewski, broski!”
Highly original and articulate, “dude.” I propose a toast: Here’s hoping you get paralyzed up to the neck in a car accident while driving home, forcing you to pose for pictures wearing a beer helmet for the rest of your life.
PS: In the comments, you are hereby commanded to share links to your fave pics of people looking stupid while hoisting drinks for the camera.
I disagree. I like the drink shot. It’s like these guys are breaking through the fourth wall and cheersing with me, the viewer. Back at ‘cha amigos!
I get hating people when you look at so many picture of them having fun with their vices, but I think you’ve got to unplug, dude. This kind of response to pics of people hoisting drinks to a camera is so much worse than any of the pics that motivated it… Well, maybe a few call for paralyzation as punishment.
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I stopped drinking when I was 19. No horror story, I was just that broke. I was also tired of people who just “had to hug” me when I made some obscure/arcane reference or the five minute conversation “best friends”. If the sloppy, low-lidded mask of Dionysus is more popular than my own personality, then I’d rather be unpopular.
http://bit.ly/KZuqtr
http://bit.ly/MOQEgr
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OK, it’s not ALWAYS a bad thing…
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Camera + buddies + drinks = photos = blog. Have a pint Jim and chill.
jimbonersandjimcarnage.com
http://wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/drunkhilz3.jpg
http://i229.photobucket.com/albums/ee24/drewgordon/cigar.jpg
It’s inevitable though – drink pics – cameras are more likely to be brought out at social settings where and when alcoholic beverages are present…
…the act of imbibing into-the-camera is often one of self-mockery and temporal awaresness (‘taking a moment’) plus it’s obviously less-forced than the currently fashionable ‘duck face’ under heavy photoshop that so many of the kids of today deem the most socially-networking media-friendly presentable pose.
I can get it if ‘straight-edges’ find this form of photographic self-abuse ridiculous, but only if they don’t have any visable tattoos.
It’s often fun to laugh at oneself.
Drunk Hillary is totally fuckable.
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http://forward.com/workspace/assets/images/articles/s-2philo-122611.jpg
Look Goad,
You did the same thing when you did ‘Gay Hamburgers of Portland’ 5000 yrs ago. You had your picture taken while you ate a gay hamburger. Does that make you better than me? Was eating that gay hamburger some kind of statement that, in fact, you eat, or just a cry for attention?
I’m so done with this.
The wind blows hard against this mountain side
Across the sea into my soul
It reaches into where I cannot hide
Setting my feet upon the road
My heart is old it holds my memories
My body burns a gem-like flame
Somewhere between the soul and soft machine
Is where I find myself again
“Woo-hoo! Woo-HOO! Good times! Warm feelings! Summer nights! I’m partyin’!”
Jim, if you can’t relate to that, I feel sorry for you. How is it that you’ve turned complaining into a “career”? Isn’t there ANYTHING you like? I bet from time-to-time you’re actually a pretty fun guy. I for one would love to have a few cold ones with you and have some laughs.
is that a Mr. T Experience shirt?
1st picture…..
Hey my drink looks like piss.
My drink smells like piss.
My drink tastes like piss.
HEY !?!? WHAT THE FUCK , MAN??????????????????
I agree. I quit drinking a couple of years ago; it was getting in the way of real life.
http://politenewyorker.blogspot.com/2011/01/saying-goodbye-to-old-friend.html
What about little waves with two fingers holding a cigarette?
Looks kinda like Jesus blessing folks, if that helps the image.
I’m 62 and a teetotaler. And I love boozers because they have provided me with countless hours of free and funny entertainment.
The drinking is okay, but the real fun is all the urinating that comes later. :O
I quit drinking too. This is me before I quit.
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