WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH YOUR MAID? SHE DUSTS YOUR WIFE’S PLAYTEX.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his maid mistress
I think the phrase “Don’t shit where you eat” can apply to a number of circumstances, but it makes particular sense when it comes to sleeping with the help. I see the pros behind sexing whatever is closest to you, but I’m telling you not to do it. I’m giving you some insight here: It isn’t going to work out. You have to keep some distance between the woman you’re married to and the one you’re sleeping with; assuming those are different women, they shouldn’t live in the same house.
Basically: WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH YOUR MAID? SHE DUSTS YOUR WIFE’S PLAYTEX.
So, why do dudes diddle the help? Is it because dudes like to diddle? I needed some insight, so I consulted the Internet. Actually, I consulted some kind of women’s website that came up when I Googled “who do men cheat with.” It turns out men cheat because of “boredom” and / or “biological impulse.” But what’s the top reason?
1. She ain’t what she used to be.
Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go.
I like that they confused Adam with Eve. I guess it’s true because it’s on this website, but in all the high profile celeb cheater stories, the guys are sleeping with a fatter, uglier, sometimes older woman. The point is: She isn’t the wife.
Jude Law cheated on Sienna Miller with their nanny
Jude Law’s nanny mistress
I kept reading. The second reason that men cheat is because women are like mosquitoes.
2. No one loves a ball buster.
Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging wife. “She’s like a mosquito,” Santagati says. “He doesn’t want to have sex with her; he wants to [swat her away].”
Their expert, Santagati, has more advice: “Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter if you’re Jessica Alba or Sienna Miller, we become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different — different lips, different body types. We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than getting laid.”
Are love and friendship more important than getting laid? COMMENT BOX.
Men, on the other hand, are “cavemen who play with fire,” which is good because, “By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat.” KEEP THOSE HOME FIRES BURNING SO HOT. Men are not only cavemen, but “hunter gathers.” This means they want to “hunt and gather women.” I’ll take that.
Then they have the part that makes you nervous if you’re a married woman. As if listening to Santagati’s take on things wasn’t shit enough, “Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere… while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives” — or having sex with the maid in their bastard child’s bed while their wife is sleeping.
The article goes out on a depressive note, saying there’s nothing women can do about it. They do offer a fun “WILL HE CHEAT? RATE THE RISK” quiz at the end, which is sort of a consolation.
Arnold’s maid
Arnold’s wife
Arnold’s illegitimate son
That Arnold’s maid is certainly a bosomy woman.
it’s a wet hole
“Patty, have you seen my pearl choker?”
“I take.”
“You… you took it? Well, give it back!!!”
“Come get, beetch.”
Are you really going to refer to the child as a “B”? He is,afterall, an innocent boy.
guys with super hot wives/gfs fuck uggos because uggos dont get laid often, or at all.
so when they finally get some dick theyre on that shit like white on rice. and because they wanna keep the guy (that actually wants to fuck them) around they let him get away with shit the wife/gf would shut down like cumming on her face and shoving your fingers in her mouth
I thought it was lame to put the kid’s picture on here. Total cunt move.
@onyx blackman: Regardless of how hot she is, why would you date — much less marry — a chick who won’t let your cum on her face or shove your fingers in her mouth? That’s like buying a Porsche that only goes 40 MPH.
Am i not supposed to let guys shove fingers in my mouth?
If you take offense at the boy’s picture being posted or being called a bastard, consider why (?). It’s because you actually consider him to be a bastard. You feel sorry for him the poor innocent lad. Fuck off. The only reason he’s a bastard is because you consider him to be one, not because someone calls him one.
Arnold’s wife is not now, nor has ever been, hot by any stretch of the imagination. “Bag of bones” would be the correct term. On the last South Park Butters referred to her as Skeletor.
who doesn’t refer to her as “Skeletor?”
@arv
some guys just buy a porsche because they want the world to know they can afford one and because they want to be seen in one. even though theyd be perfectly happy with a honda civic with a decent record collection, awesome sense of humor and lets you stick your thumb in her tailpipe.
@onyx blackman: HA. Word.
^^that ain’t no man wanting a civic, that’s a pussy.
“Bish pleez, you need to eat taco buffet with the extra chez to get this curves.”
whoa balls that kid looks like schwartzo.
and my theory with the ‘maid-banging conundrum’ i think is the result of something i’ve termed ‘boner confusion’ which is sort of like ‘cognitive dissonance’, but much, much sexier.
party on
@EMILIE
Knudsen you let all guys shove anything into you.
out in the suburbs, the hottest women you see all day are spanish cleaning ladies.
party on party on all night nigga, I got these new rappers nervous prom night nigga.
I cheated on my shimmeringly beautiful (now ex-) girlfriend with a fat, disgusting pig. And the flabberlanche didn’t even let me stick in her pooper.
(And it is depressing how quick vagina fatigue sets in, no matter how beautiful or sexy the girl is. Also why didn’t this, ahem, “article” mention IMF maid-raper Dominique Strauss-Kahn? Apparently his lawyers were “shocked” when they saw how ugly his victim was. Perhaps he’s been trying to cope with having a girl’s name by indulging in hyper-masculine behavyaw.)
Thank you for that picture of Arnold’s son. It’s not like I wanted to sleep tonight
Anyone who actually has hired help on staff full time has probably achieved some level of success in life. Most of the time those men are pre-occupied doing the things that brought that level of success and maintaining it. Hence they fuck the hired help, the secretary, or the intern because it’s immediately within range because they are too busy being successful and working to actually go out and troll for it. Looks don’t even have to play a factor, just look at Letterman and Steve Philips or even Bill Clinton. The common denominator is just go with whats within reach and go back to business. This isn’t really a mystery any dude would have told you this.
he’s tight
Nonsense is on the money.
Solution:gay cleaning dude.
That way if he cheats he gets aids.
Butters rules.