It used to be that a man could jerk off whenever the hell he pleased.
That all changes the second a man has the balls to inform his girlfriend of how much jacking off is necessary for a dude to remain right in the head. Men MUST jerk off every single day, or at least a man who isn’t suffering from some kind of depression (it’s hard to jack off when your life is shit.) Girlfriends fuckin’ hate it when their dude jacks off, because they view it as a form of cheating. WTF? A girlfriend feels like she has to be there for every single jizz load because watching him blow it makes her feel like a million bucks. She did that and watching his cum fly out of his dick feels like she just won the talent show.
The other day I pumped so much cum onto my girlfriend’s chest, she looked liked she just got slimed by a ghost. She couldn’t have been happier. Women who are right in the head love cum because one day cum will bring them the baby they so much desire.
They only problem being a woman can never jerk off their boyfriend’s dick as great as he can. What I mean is: A dude MUST jerk his own dick off at least 4 times a week no matter how much his girlfriend fucks him. I recently made the promise to stop jacking off in order to make my girlfriend feel like she runs the show, and it’s been the hardest promise I’ve ever had to keep. Harder than quitting smoking even and just like sneaking in the occasional cigarette, I’ve resorted to sneaking in the occasional porno/jack session and you know what? Fuck this bullshit. Men are made to drink booze, smoke cigarettes, and beat their dicks like crazy. That’s like me asking her to give up being crazy or the fuckin’ look she gives me after I’ve been smoking. Women can easily tell if their man has been smoking or jacking off with a quick sniff of his fingers, and if they smell like cock or tobacco, he’s fucked.
Well, fuck you, non-married women of the world! We are NEVER giving up our jack it sessions—and I only say the non-married women because the married chicks I know love it when their husbands jack off because it’s one less time they have to fuck him.
Why can’t chicks be cool w/their boyfriends jacking off? Like we care if you’re busy fingering yourself while we’re at the bar.
—JESSE ANDREW
Saw a dude tapping his peen tip waiting for a bus while waiting with his daughter and two slags, in public. No awareness whatsoever. Guys essentially are prehistoric to the bone(r).
Why on Earth would you have agreed to this? You should agree to stop jerking off on the condition that she stop menstruating.
Delicioustacos wins the debate.
Excellent application of Game Theory.
why? cause a bigger load is more fun to mess with!