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Look at these fucking jerkoffs. Be objective: if you didn’t already know who they were, wouldn’t they just as likely be a pair of Snooki’s baby daddies? Coupla Seaside Heights greaseballs licking their chops to dive into some guidette pussy.
But lo; society has made them baseball heroes – IMMUNE to the conventional factors of assessment that govern normal earthlings.
And so it was that DEREK JETER and NICK SWISHER on Saturday Night, flew into a rage during game one of the ALDS when a state trooper asked them for their autograph:
In the top of the ninth inning of the Yankees’ 7-2 win in Game 1 of the American League Division Series against the Orioles at Camden Yards, the troopers asked Nick Swisher and Derek Jeter for autographs in the dugout.
“Swish was livid,’’ said a person who witnessed the stupid request.
Asked if that ever happened before, Jeter said, “What do you think?”
Hey Jeter and Swish, here’s a reality check: You guys are making fucking immoral salaries to play a child’s game. These troopers are putting their lives on the line for a living, and I guarantee they don’t make half of what you pay your actual butler.
Sign the fucking piece of paper and make these guys’ LIVES. Let them go home to their poor kids and have your fucking SIGNATURE to cherish, you hypnotized, entitled pieces of shit.
And if these troopers really asked at a majorly inopportune time, here’s a soundbite for you to try:
“Absolutely my brotha, tell you what – hang right right here for a second, lemme get outta the ninth and ill hook that up for you – don’t move, lemme get this done and we’ll hook you up in 5 minutes bro.”
Boom.
Instead, you start acting like the guys fingered your baby sister. Squealing to the press, getting your panties in a twist like Tawana mf Brawley. Gimme a fuckin break.
Tweet this article, send it to Swish on twitter; these troopers deserve an apology.
Yeah, troopers are cops soooooo… i don’t care!
Athletes are not role models and I will never understand this obsession with sports in America. These guys suck!
me dumb?
@jackie o
so are you trying to be cool or do you actually think european soccer players/mexican boxers/african runners etc etc etc etc don’t get the same or similar treatment?
Dear Ben,
Look at the context! This was in the 9th inning of a tied game. You failed to mention that. Or did you just not know?
Jeter is a really down to earth dude. I met him on 5 occasions and the dude remembered my first name after the third, no why would he remember? On all the times that I did meet him, I was working and never asked him for an autograph.
So how would you like it if I showed up to your job and asked you for something arbitrary and selfish during your crunch time?
Not to mention, what the fuck is this doing on this site? I read the post for shit like this. I read this site for funny cool shit.
This is neither funny nor cool.
Get a clue,
TCL
Is anyone else getting a bit tired of police, firemen and the military trolling game shows, sporting events, public gatherings for free stuff and services all the time? And then having these guys or one of their friends and family running to the press anytime somebody doesn’t fawn enough over them?
PS, I don’t think the troopers there were “putting their lives on the line that night”. More like pulling seniority or rank to get free access to the playoff game.
@Anonymous
I hear you man, but in those countries athletes don’t make quite the same insane sums of money.
@Cable Guy the average salary for a premier league player is 3 million pounds and the average salary for a MLB player in 2012 is 3.4 million dollars.
@TCL no shit, this post makes little to no sense.
Hey my name is TOTAL CAPS LOCK and yo I just wanna say I met Derek Jeter in a humblebraggin mind state.
Hey TRL, your hero is a piece of shit spoiled brat. Funny that you wanna suck a man’s penis so hard. Have fun with your Derek Jeter poster. Just one last question: can you really not see that you’re gay?
So, TCL gives a solid contrary opinion and Riveter you call him gay? Nice.
Disregard my last comment, I’m juss on my period
Actually Yup, he’s gay because he wants to fuck Derek Jeter who is another man. (Ben does too)
Sorry dude TCL is right, the troopers who pulled that gig are guys with seniority, who use it for perks, like playoff game access, and details escorting high profile people. It was the 9th inning of a tied game, during the post season. They may be grown ups, payed to play a child’s game, but those moments are exactly when they’re on the job, and exactly what they get paid for. Beside’s that, those troopers are fucking grown ass men, this isn’t like they played out a group of kids who idolize them, and still don’t know how real life works. Those grown ass men had their own job to do, with a certain level of professionalism that they’re payed to have too, and being adults they should’ve had the common sense to wait till the inning was over. Besides that, what the fuck is wrong with adults in this country now, with this idea that other adults, who are total strangers to them, owe them things, because they see them on TV, in movies, follow their artistic or athletic careers? Somehow that makes it okay to completely forget any propriety and start bothering a random stranger. Yeah it’s nice when famous people are decent enough to graciously acknowledge you for being a fan, despite the fact that most of the time the average person is being an ass, but they’re not obligated to. They already fulfilled their obligation, giving you moments of joy, art, or entertainment. They don’t perpetually owe you anything afterwords.
Swisher is a tool, Jeter is debatable (this is one of his few indiscretions.) I went to a Chicago White Sox @ Tampa Bay Rays game a few years ago when, “Swish” was on the White Sox. I sat in left field, which is where he was playing defense so he was the closest a player ever got to my area. He presented himself about the same. Granted, the over fifty-year-old Tampa fan with a blue tongue with an affinity to blueberry cotton candy kept yelling at him that he could see his panties, and that he was a pussy might of led to his retaliation. After around three innings of heckling, Swisher had it and turned around and gave the smurf tongued mouth breather the salty salute. Not before he signaled how he made lots of money with his free hand, basically telling the idiot in the stands he was paid, and he was broke so, “U MAD.” I don’t blame Swisher for getting back at the mouth breather, but at the same time, he’s a mouth breather, he played right into his remedial sticky hands.
The best part was when a White Sox fan started ragging on the Ray’s LF in the same way — with markedly tamer language — the same fan and his party got, “offended” that he used “bad” words at a family ball park, in front of kids. I sensed an opportunity to stir things up so I made sure to yell loud and obnoxiously, “BUT YOU SAID PUSSY.” This pretty much shut everyone up after I raised the awkwardness level to DEFCON 1. There was a slight reply by his party, but sense I was right, his party couldn’t say much and everyone was more or less shocked by my volume so that it killed all momentum.
How is how much what each party makes an issue? If the rich request autographs from the poor are the poor entitled to be dicks?
altough ben leo is usually pansy s douche hes actuall right on that..these self-aggrandizing cocksuckers could have taken the time to sign a few autographs considering they get paid pornogrphic amounts of money
Hornblowers Ghost is right.