My buddy Andrew Basile is a gimp. This sucks because when we’re driving around Philly and we see a sign for Frisbee Golf, we can’t go check it out because nobody want to push his crippled ass around 18 holes. Permanent diseases like cancer and AIDS cause a lot of pain and inconvenience to the people around them so I decided to use the power of positive thinking to cure him. Guess what. It worked!

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2. OPEN MIC: WHEELCHAIR RAPIST
3. I SAVED THIS GUY’S LIFE – BY BEING AN ASSHOLE!
4. CANCER IS A MYTH
5. KURT COBAIN: STILL DEAD, STILL STRONG